True Story: I Regret The Way I Lost My Virginity

Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Boy.

It was the worst idea I've ever had, probably. Somehow my best friend's boyfriend managed to convince me that it was me he had loved all along. And who was I to deny it? It hurt so badly, watching them together, when I loved him so much. So I believed him. On the afternoon of their five-month anniversary, when she was shopping with her mom, I was in his bed. We were both virgins, but he was a year older than me if we are talking about Highschool level yes I was 16 we are 16 years old that time our gap was only 20 days I thought it was a destiny then our monthsary is also 20 ( so my birthday was MARCH 24 96 then his March 4 96 well we had started our relationship when it was March 20). It was awkward and hot under his flannel sheets, but I kept telling myself it was ok. Because he loved me, right?

Wrong

It took us one day to kiss for the 1st time & honestly sex was the last thing on my mind that was until we got in 4 months but I was drunk that time when he took some advantage of me. We broke up that day, he started going out with my friends & well long story short after a month I took him back, I know it was stupid on my part & that's when all the stupid mistakes started to happen, i found out he was cheating on me & not just kissing but having sex with his ex & i stayed. After a few months they stopped seeing each other & he started to act different all he wanted to do was touch me, & he tried so many times to have sex with me & when i would say no he would just say "It's okay, i'll just go look for it somewhere else" Like i said I was a stupid teenager who felt extremely hard for someone who didn't really care & I guess i must of been blind because I didn't want to loose him & then he finally got his way I stopped saying no & since i didn't want to loose him well I gave him the most precious thing i had, the thing is it wasn't even special, it wasn't what i had imagined it wasn't love, it was just Lust. That day after he left i felt like the grosses most nasty person in the world, i cried for hours. We went out for 11 months and a half more days & since he had stayed i thought we would always be together & he was the one so I kept on giving him what he wanted until finally he left me & went back to his EX. At first i didn't regret it i thought at least i learned something but now that I'm growing up I regret it so much, lately i hate myself for giving him my most special gift, the worst is I know I'll never get it back, & if someday i do find the right guy I won't have something special to give him. You know about 2 months ago i started to get bumps under there & I'm scared I got an STD or something & i hate how there's a chance i ruined my life & i let my parents down & i let god down. I wish he had never shown up in my life, i wish i hadn't given him my v-card, I wish i could go back in time & stop myself from having sex with him. There's a guy i have a tiny crush on but he is a good guy & i feel worthless because he deserves someone who hasn't been used, & even tho I've only been with one guy i feel like the most used person in the world. Loosing my virginity was the worst mistake of my life. I'm sorry god.

thats not all , I experience soo much bitterness with him . he was One of the best players in Volleyball Varsities  

but he always telling me he was still a virgin.