Through It All (LevYaku fanfic)

Patience is Love: Chapter 14

Lev held Yaku as tight as he could, and placed soft comforting kisses on his head. "It's alright, ssshhh, you are in my arms, you are alright. No one will ever hurt you again! Listen to me, shhhhh, please listen. It is NOT your fault. NONE OF IT."

Lev held the man's head, and rubbed his back, "No, Morisuke. No. People don't just suddenly become abusive partners. You tried to resolve it, and communicate. You submitted and allowed far far more than is reasonably acceptable. He was waiting for you to falter so he could gain power over you. No matter how sweet he may have been, there is no going back once an abusive partner has shown their true self and that true self is tolerated by their partner. Please. Understand. I know this from experience."

Morisuke could hear the words but he was too deep into his memories to listen. He was just glad that Lev was holding him. He shifted until he was almost seated on the younger man's lap. There was nothing coming out of his mouth except Lev, I'm sorry, and please.

The tears came freely and there was no stopping it. He could only hold on and wish that the pain would ebb. That it won't ruin Lev. Oh gods... he wished he wouldn't ruin Lev too. He held on tighter, afraid that if he let go, he'd get lost.

Lev scooped him up and cradled him, gently rocking. With the most soothing deep voice he repeated, "shhh it's alright, you are alright. You are safe in my arms. I'm so sorry you endured that, you did not deserve it. No one does. None of it was your fault, my love. "

He kissed his cheek, "Volley may have been where we were lucky to find each other, and I loved playing with you. But, my love," he tried to make him laugh, "I'm an old man now. Volleyball is a young man's game. Besides there is so much I want to do with you, volleyball was just the start of us, not the end."

Morisuke pulled back, grabbed two fistfuls of silver hair and pulled hard. "Volleyball is where I started loving you and you dare call it a young man's game?" There was a watery laugh behind the tears but it definitely eased the grip in his heart. "Volleyball may not be our end, but I sure as hell want to continue playing."

Lev gave a reassuring smile and teased, "yes, my love, and we were young men then." He kissed him, "you are the most resilient man I know. If you want to keep playing, you'll find a way. I'll help you."

He cupped Yaku's small tear-soaked face, "now, look at me and listen."

Morisuke sniffled and nodded, ready to listen to whatever Lev was going to say. He even used his wrists to wipe more of the tears away. He used the shirt to wipe the snot out of his nose, too.

Lev gritted his teeth a bit before he spoke with a knowing and haunted tone, "That man intended to break you. In every form he could get away with–emotionally and physically. He wanted to break your future happiness too, so that you would feel like you do now. Guilty and ashamed. That is the kind of power abusers crave and demand. They want to know they break you for life, long after you've gotten away from them... if you've gotten away."

Lev snapped himself back from his memories and looked into Yaku's eyes with affection and adoration, "I'm so proud of you, and how brave you are. Thank you for still being here, thank you for smiling and laughing. Thank you for telling me everything. I know it was painful. But please, let me help heal your heart or at least be support as you heal yourself."

An abuse victim knows when they are faced by another. He knew it. And he knew that there was more inside Lev. There was an unknown horror inside this younger man. He wanted to know but he did not push. Lev was respectful enough to wait for him to open up, Morisuke can wait too. He just cupped Lev's face gently and rubbed the skin under his eyes. "I'm lucky to have you, Haiba Lev. Thank you for existing. Thank you for being you. Thank you for holding on. Thank you for waiting. Thank you for being here." He punctuated each sentence with a kiss on different parts of Lev's face.