.runaway.//troyler au

l e a v i n g h o m e . x x

I'm okay. I'm alright.

I'm safe, I'm alright, I'm okay, I'm okay.

I'm brave, I'm okay, I'm safe, I'm not afraid.

It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay.

I'm gonna be okay.

The rain falls to the footpath in big, heavy drops, splashing across the grey and turning the spots a few shades darker. I keep looking at the droplets, looking at the droplets. "Focus your feelings into small objects, and just like the tiny matter will burst, your pain will subside." That's what my mother told me. I miss her, I miss her, I miss her. I miss my family. I miss my home. It was stupid of me to leave.

"Troye, come here," Mother calls in a serious tone. Oh, no. She's mad at me, isn't she?

I close my laptop and roll my sleeves down so I can ball the cloth in my fists and dig my nails into it. It's a nervous habit I've developed that I haven't been able to stop. My right hand rests on the railing, sliding down at the same speed my feet walk down the carpeted steps. I take my other hand and stuff it, sleeved, into my mouth, and begin to suck. Mother waits in the kitchen, watching the stairs, and then me once I come into sight. We look into each other's eyes, hers emotionless, mine afraid and nervous. I make my way over to her, and shrink back once her gaze fills with anger, but also disappointment.

"Troye," she says levelly. I bite my lip and gulp. She narrows her eyes. "I just got a call from a girl who says she attends your school. June David. Do you know of her?" I nod. "She's pregnant, and claims youare the father after a doctor's appointment. What do you have to say to that?"

Immediately, I start breathing heavily. That didn't happen. "Mum, no, I didn't get her pregnant, I swear!"

My mother looks at me skeptically. "Are you lying to me? Because it certainly didn't sound like she was being dishonest."

"Mummy, I didn't!" I cry, pointing my toes inward and outward. "I would never do that!"

"Troye, you're only a year 10 student. I would expect more highly of you than to have sex with a girl when you aren't even sixteen. Do you know how devastated she must be just to know she'll be having a child before she's even graduated? I bet her parents don't even know she's pregnant."

"Mummy!" I shout, my voice cracking. She doesn't believe me. "I'm a virgin and June David doesn't even like me! She hates me and she just wants me to get in trouble!"

"Troye Sivan Mellet!" yells my father from his bedroom. I wince. He emerges from behind the door. "Why would you ever say wrong of June? She doesn't lie and you know it. So quit lying to your mother and tell her the truth."

"Dad," I say, choking back tears. "I really didn't do it, honest!"

"Go to your room, now," Mother booms, her voice full of malice. "You'll receive your punishment come morning, and then you will see June David in person and apologise to her."

"Mummy, I —"

Slap. My father's hit leaves my face stinging and my eyes watering. He hates me now, she hates me now. I hear Tyde mumble a question since he'd obviously been woken up, and retreat into my room, clutching my burning cheek, before he can see me. I slam the door and lock it, flying onto my bed and crying into my pillow, kicking my feet into the mattress like a toddler having a temper tantrum. I scream and cry until my throat goes raw, and then I just lay in my bed, my body racked with sobs. My parents have never been so upset with me, especially not to the point I'd have to get hit. But they wouldn't even listen to me! I swore I'd never had sex with June David, and they still took her word rather than mine. I'm not even angry, just hurt that my parents really wouldn't trust me.