Under the lights tonight || Park Jimin

31

It was like a maze of security trying to exit Jimin's building but I realized we were only a few blocks from Hye's shop. I decided it would be best to find my way there first to wait for a cab because I can't sit outside this fancy building in a cocktail dress from last night without looking like a call girl. The walk to Hye's shop felt like it dragged on for a while. It felt like every car passing was staring at me, to be honest, they probably were. Everyone had to be wondering who Jimin's mystery girl was. I couldn't believe I was so stupid to get caught up with him. I've grown up seeing idols in the media getting slandered for dating at all, I can't believe I let myself think it would be different. I arrived at Hye's shop and walked in, the bell dinging as I entered.

"Hi-" Hye cuts himself off when he looks at me, "Oh Ana why are you so dressed up? Come here to impress me?" He teases.

"I've messed up big time," I sigh, ignoring his comment and moving behind the counter with him, hopping up to sit on the counter, "I made a huge mistake."

"What happened?" He looks at me worried. I unlock my phone, flashing the article at him, "Oh Ana..."

"I don't know what to do."

"Have you talked to Jimin?" He asks, leaning on the counter across from me.

"I don't want to see or talk to him ever again but his managers want to meet with me sometime this week-" I'm cut off by the phone ringing.

"That's good," Hye gets up, moving to answer the phone, "One minute." He mouths.

"I guess I should stop bothering everyone." I huffed to myself, pulling my phone out, "I'm gonna call a cab." I whisper to Hye as he talks to a customer on the phone.

"Wait," he whispers back before finishing his phone call, "Ana wait..."

"What?"

"Do you want to cut Jimin off?" Hye questions as he moves about the shop, gathering the materials for the order he just took.

"I have to," I sigh, "I need to move on. I think it's time for me to grow up, especially if I'm supposed to raise my brothers, I can't spend all night out with a random man."

"So growing up means you can't do anything for yourself?"

"Well I'm not moving to Korea because I love it here," I snap, "As soon as I came to Korea my life wasn't about me anymore, I got all this responsibility pushed on me." I feel tears brimming my eyes.

"What do you mean?" Hye stops what he's doing before coming back to lean against the counter beside me.

"No one cares about me and what I want," I huff, "I have to be a good sister, niece, and friend all the time. I have to give up this life I built in New York and my dreams to be here for two boys I'm related to but know nothing about. Now I finally find a man I want to spend time with and I can't."

Hye raises an eyebrow, "Why can't you?"

"Because Jimin is Jimin and I can't get wrapped up in his stupid idol life."

"Why not?"

I elbow Hye, "I just told you!"

"I think you're being ridiculous," Hye scoffs, "Why do you choose to make yourself miserable?"

"I don't do that!" I snap, "I have to go." His words made me so angry, he was being so stupid. Not everyone was meant to be happy all the time I had to do what was best for my brothers.

"Don't be like that Ana," Hye complains, "I just want to know why you won't do anything for yourself."

"Bye Hye." I ignore him as I leave his shop. Instead of wasting my money on a cab or train ticket, I decided to walk the few blocks home. It was miserable, everyone looked like they had someone, a friend, a parent, a sibling, or a significant other. I know that I said I don't need any of those things but sometimes it's nice to think about having someone like that.

I shake it off as I turn the corner, my phone buzzing in my pocket. I pull it out and answer without checking who it is, "Ana!" Aunt Mae shouts through the phone.

"Sorry Aunt Mae," I continue walking, "I know I should have been home so much earlier-"

Aunt Mae cuts me off, "Ana don't worry," She laughs, "I know I've been hard on you because of the passing of your father. I'm sorry it hasn't been fair to you."

"It's okay." I comfort her as she sounds really upset. It isn't okay though.

"I'm glad you found more friends and a boyfriend..."

"He's not my boyfriend and they aren't my friends."

"Are you sure?"

I roll my eyes, "Aunt Mae I hung out with them a couple of times, we aren't friends."

"Why not?" She sounds upset.

"They are idols and I am me." I scoff turning down my street.

"But you seem different now," Aunt Mae continues, "You seem happier. I really want that for you."

"Okay? Well, maybe I don't deserve to be happy." I shrug, approaching the house, "I'm almost home we'll talk about this later." I hang up on her with a sigh. Maybe Hye is right, maybe I do make myself miserable. I shrug it off and head inside, immediately ignoring my aunt and brothers who tried to greet me. I went straight to my room, ignoring my family calling my name.

I threw my things on the floor and myself on my bed. I pulled my phone out and dialed Stella's number, "Hello?" She was quick to answer.

I skip the greetings and cut right to the chase, "Have you ever been to Itaewon?"

"No?" She sounds confused.

"Do you want to check it out tonight?"

"Uh," She pauses, "Who are you and what have you done with Ana?"

I roll my eyes, "Are you in or not?"

"You want to go clubbing?"

I groan, "Yes or no Stella?"

"Yes, I'm in!"

"Okay be ready by 9 tonight."