DEAR MY FUTURE HUSBAND

Written on 5th April 2022
Yogyakarta, Indonesia
This letter is written when I’m 25 years old. Yeah, quarter century.

Dear my future husband…
Hello, how are you? I hope you’re okay.
Hmmm actually I don’t know why I write cheesy things like this
Because I don’t know that I will meet you in dunya or the next life
Yeah, Allah never say that human being will definitely meet their other half on dunya
And I don’t even know that I will die first or marry first
But all I believe is you are exist, you are there but I just don’t know where

First and foremost, I wanna say “CONGRATULATION” for marrying such a weirdo like me.
I’m sure we’ve been through a lot of drama, cause my life is full of drama hehe
However I do believe with my God
I do believe whatever His plans are, all of those are the best for me
I hope you wont regret your decision to choose me, because I’m far away from wife material.
It doesn’t mean that I cannot but I’m trying my best and it’s far from perfection.
I’m also might be not the type of girl that you are looking for
But again I’m glad that you chose me :) 

In addition, I wanna say sorry
Sorry because I’ve never been in relationship
So I don’t have any experiences in terms of “romance things”.
I never hang out, go to cinema, eat out, hold hands, hug, or even kiss any guys.
Yea that’s the truth… you wanna know the reason?
One of the reasons is because If I finally meet you, I don’t wanna compare you to  anybody else
It’s just you and you.

Yet, it doesnt mean I never like somebody.
I did.
sorry that I’ve ever had close to other guys even tho just online
Sorry that  I’ve ever had on call with people for hours
Sorry that I’ve had messaging a lot with guys
Sorry that I’ve ever been in bad things.
I apologize :(

If someday we meet
I hope you can bear with me
Bear with all of  my weirdness
Bear with all my sensitivity
Bear with all of my flaws
Cause sometimes I can be childish
Sometimes I can be so needy
Sometimes I can be so sensitive
Sometimes I can be so indicisive
Sometimes I can  be so bad
So… Please bear with me

Overall, I wanna say thankyou
Thankyou for coming to my life
Thankyou for being so kind
Thankyou for being a great man
Thankyou for being amazing
Thankyou for being you

I can imagine how happy I am if someday I meet you
I can imagine how grateful I am if I meet you
I cannot wait till the day comes…
And I hope we can always be together till death do us part.

My husband… I like you before I  meet you
Cause I know ALLAH SWT will choose the best man for me.

And now finally I can say “I love you” to somebody who’s not my family.
Hey you… I love you :) and will always do

With love,
Your wife
DDH