Snippets
Preamble
Snippets-Brief moments in time from a memory of a person over a lifetime lived! Moments that create and form a person and make you the person you are when you grow to adulthood, yet you don't acknowledge until, it's almost too late.
Brief views and pictures and videos in the mind of a memory of a person that the person knows they were critical moments in time that added to who they are and what they became overtime. We all have them folks, especially, if you had a troubled childhood or teen years that were troubled, or just a troubled life of any kind. Yet we don't stop to realize they are visions, or thoughts or memories in our head, we don't pay much attention to, unless we reminisce about them in peaceful moments. Funny isn't it, but they are there in your mind folks and in your hearts too, whether they are bad or good, and this is all about the ones in my life that helped me get through and become me.
Memories believe it or not at times, are far too few and in between for many of us. Yet in the end they are what help to make up who we are and how we are in life as we grow older, for they are the important moments in our minds and hearts!
Part 1
Ever sit down and try to remember the first thing you can and work at it so hard it gave you a headache, I have. So what was my first memory as a child, well mine was at 5 years old as I was being prepared for school that first day.
I remember it well folks and will till the day I die. A five year old, mothers, will fidget and move about when being dressed for school that first day, it's what we all do isn't it?
As I stood there and mom dressed me I was fine till she tried to put a tie on me, I still hate anything around my neck till this day. But because as a five year old I wouldn't hold still for her to do it, I still feel the sting of that right hand of hers on my face, as she slapped me hard to slow me down. I cried for over an hour, not from the slap, but from the fact she actually hit me that day! And as I look back I can understand why she slapped me, but, I can't grasp the fact she actually did it. This was my mom right and I was upset and disappointed and scarred of her now, and for the longest time. Matter of fact, I was scared of mom till the day she died, her temper was bad, and I was usually the target. I also never remember mom ever hugging me or giving me a kiss. All, little visions of how my childhood, was, at 5 years old, sad huh, I know and I don't want any pity either.
What was my next memory of my childhood and the pain it brought me, well, let's talk about Elementary School. Elementary school for me was painful as they could come as was my home life, after that slap.
Part 2
Elementary school days for children are supposed to be a time when you learn, and make friends and have good times. At least for most kids that is, how it goes, not for me, I felt like I was in a place I didn't belong, nor did I want to be. It was to me a torture test I had to survive, for I hated people at the time due to my family life at home.
I remember that first day of kindergarten like it was yesterday, as my older brother dropped me off and left for his class, I was scared, frightened and wondering what the hell was happening. When you five years old the world is a big place, but it is even bigger when you left alone in a class of at least thirty strange kids, and teacher you don't know. Back in those days they handed you a mat to lay on for a nap, and gave you crackers and juice halfway thru your day. We were given toys to play with and art supplies to color and raw with, I would find a spot to do my own thing and not bother with the other kids. I knew I was a loner and mostly anti-social even back then. When I was pressured I would run away, or just go totally quiet, and hide. I was even afraid to ask to use the bathrooms back then, so I would try to hold it in and ended up going in my pants. The other kids would laugh at me and tease me because of it. By the time the end of my year of Kindergarten was over, I think I was the first child in the school's history to be recommended to repeat kindergarten, yet I didn't due to my mother.
