Hired to Love You

Chapter 1 Alone

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photo credits:google Mariano di Viaio

"The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain.It's the loneliness of it."Lois Lowry,The Giver

"When I get lonely these days,I think.So BE LONELY,Liz.Learn your way around loneliness.Make a map of it.Sit with it,for once in your life.Welcome to the human experience.But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings."Elizabeth Gilbert,Eat,Pray,Love

Alistair's POV

I feel the sharp,piercing pangs of loneliness.

I am standing in front of Kayla's tomb.

Tears are rolling down into my face.

I am wondering if my longing for her and the overwhelming loneliness would ever stop.

Everyday,I visit Kayla's tomb.Everytime I am seeing her name written on the marble tomb and my tears would trickle down.

I loved her more than my life.I offered her marriage,love,security and happiness but she declined.

She had chosen to love my twin brother though she knew he doesn't love her.In the end,she died because she can't accept the truth.Her lifestory is tragic and bittersweet.And so my life is.

I am bitter because she did not choose me.

I am alone because she did not choose me.

I am lonely because she did not choose me.

She could have chosen me but she did not.

I am alone,bitter and sad because of my longing for her,for my unreturned love and of the bittersweet memories of her running in my mind every single minute of each day!

If only she had chosen me then we would be happy but I respected her decision.I know I can't force her to love me.But she knew she can't force Rex to love her either.

Her memories keeps on haunting me.

Her memories makes my heart and soul cry.

Her memories makes me feel I am drowning and dying of so much pain and loneliness.

Her memories makes me smile.

Her memories serves as my refuge and anchor.

Her memories kills me everyday but it is also my life force.It gives me courage to move on and face life with courage even without her.

"I love you Kayla.I have to move on.Goodbye."I whispered as I walk forward and away from her tomb.

I walked away hoping that the pain,loneliness and emptiness will stop.

I can feel the longing to love and be loved by someone.

I feel and know whatever happens my special someone will come and rescue me from this loneliness.I am waiting for her.

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