marauders era imagines

r.a.b - jealousy

warnings : swearing, slight angst
hufflepuff female reader

regulus black. known mainly to the students of hogwarts as 'the younger black brother' or 'sirius' brother'. he never had anything to himself, nothing. all of the girls in hogwarts flocked towards him as if he were the prince of england. the teachers graded regulus against sirius, nothing he did would ever live up to his big, brilliant brother. in quidditch he was slytherins' seeker. he always had to try his hardest, he never let himself fail. whether that meant waking up at 5:00 in the morning and training for hours until even the practice snitch was exhausted, or punishing himself with no leisure time if he lost a game. it was the one time where he was praised, when he won. after catching that snitch he would be loved and thanked and cheered for momentarily before his big brother did some amazing stunt and the attention moved back again.

one evening in his sixth year, he had just finished his drills and his training in the freezing cold november weather. he changed out of his green and silver kit into some black chequered pyjama bottoms and a plain black t-shirt. he snuck out past curfew and padded through the corridors until he reached the library. pushing the large, wooden door open enough for him to slide through and closing it behind him. this often happened. after practice he would come to the library for hours until the middle of the night before getting a few hours sleep and redoing the day of training, school, training and then library again. he had a small cove in the top righthand corner of the library all to himself - it was his and his only. so that night, when he stumbled upon a girl snuggled into piles of blankets and pillows reading in the dim candle light where he usually sat, he wasn't overly pleased.

"who the fuck are you?" he asked, trying to whisper and sound assertive all at once. the girl jumped and turned her head abruptly towards the sound of his voice. the blankets around her fell and he could see the yellow and black striped jumper she was wearing, also the face of the girl that was now illuminated by the candle. he almost forgot why he was annoyed when he saw her, how beautiful she looked. she stumbled over her words as she tried to spit out an answer, panicking obviously. "sorry! i didn't see you coming, my name is y/n." her face flushed and she sat up straight, staring at the boys rigid face. his cutout jawline, his sharp nose, his grey eyes and his black, curly hair that cascaded down around his ears and neck. he softened when he realised he'd frightened the girl, pulling himself up off the ladder he was currently stood on and sitting a few feet from her. "sorry, i didn't mean to frighten you. i'm just not used to seeing other people in my spot."
"your spot?" she asked, pulling a face and scrunching her nose.
"yeah, i found it in second year and it's been the one thing in this school i had all to myself since. it's dumb i know."
"i don't believe it's dumb, i think its sweet. i'll leave if you would like?" with anyone else in the school, he would have told them to politely piss off and shoved them down the ladder. but, for some reason, he wanted this strange girl to stay. to stay with him. "no! it's ok. we can share it if you would like. my name is regulus, regulus black." she smiled at him and started an easy flowing conversation, the night melting away into laughs and stories.

the two would meet up every night after that, they were quickly becoming friends and would gradually move from sitting across from each other into cuddling each other and falling asleep. they never saw each other outside of the library, having no classes together and no shared friends they could never do it easily. however, despite this, she was his. not his brothers. one night in may, they were lay reading. she was reading some 'slimey romance' according to regulus whereas he read a muggle horror fiction named 'the shining'. for the past few months regulus had developed a crush on y/n. he brushed it off as a natural occurrence, however on that night, when she let out the most adorable giggle he'd ever heard, he realised he had fallen in love with her. his heart swelled at the sight of her and his smile increased in appearance around her.

the next week, his quidditch match against gryffindor rolled around. entering the pitch, he saw y/n in the crowd, smiling and waving at him frantically. he smiled to himself and looked down. when the gryffindor team's names were announced he focused back onto his game. he grimaced as sirius and james potters names were called. then, the quaffle was thrown and the game began. it was tied most of the game, down to regulus and james to see who could catch the snitch first. it was right in front of his fingers, almost within his reach. then james snatched it out from under his grasp and it was announced gryffindor had won. he dropped his head in annoyance, he almost felt like crying.

the brooms landed on the sand and cheers were surrounding him, just not for him. the only thing that he thought would make him feel better was y/n. he saw her wandering across the pitch amidst the many gryffindors congratulating the team. her path was to him, only to him. but it was disrupted by someone wearing red and gold. picking her up and spinning her around whilst cheering. it had to be none other than sirius black. a hole opened up in his chest and a lump formed in his throat. it had to be a coincidence, it had to be just the excitement of winning - he told himself whilst continuing walking over to her. once he was in listening range he halted, his head and his heart hurting as he heard their conversation. "did you see that y/n! i'm so glad you finally came to one of my matches - against slytherin of all people! it was brilliant, i'm so glad you're here! did you see regulus' face. oh that was so worth the extra training." the girl nodded and smiled along, he could only watch. was it all a lie? was it all just a joke? the one thing he thought his brother didn't have.

regulus didn't stay long after that, not wanting people to see him break down. he changed in the locker room and disappeared back to his dorm. usually he'd go to his spot, but it wasn't his anymore. it was theirs and he couldn't stand it. he slept his longest that night, crying himself to sleep at 9:00 and then not waking until 11:00 the next morning. it was thankfully saturday and he didn't have anywhere to be. he showered, got dressed and headed straight to the lake. it was a warm spring day so the grass was dry enough to sit on, and read.

he read a whole book and was about to begin a second one when he heard light footsteps approaching him. he didn't need to look up to know it was her, but he still did and she looked exhausted. "where were you last night? i waited for hours but you never came." her voice sounded croaky and she tried to make him look up at her, but he refused. it hurt him but he needed to distance himself. "i was busy alright." he winced at his own, harsh tone. she sat beside him and continued talking. "oh ok, well maybe could you let me know please." he rolled his eyes and looked at her again, "i thought you'd be busy with my fucking brother y/n. seen as you're so pally with him. you didn't mention it once to me. not once. i fucking trusted you! was it a joke all along, huh? did you go back to him and tell him everything? god i can't believe i let myself like you." sobs wracked through her body and she looked as if she'd been stabbed through the heart, similar to how regulus felt.

"how dare you assume so low of me. the reason i didn't tell you was because i didn't want you to hate me after what sirius told me about you. i just wanted you to like me for me instead of hate me because i'm friends with sirius black." she was yelling now, pushing herself to her feet. "friends? oh please. sirius black doesn't have female friends - he fucks who he wants and then pushes them aside. he's trying to butter you up!" "you know nothing about him, he likes remus you idiot! i've never even thought about sleeping with him! what is this tantrum about your own jealousy? well sort yourself out because it's fucked up regulus." he stopped arguing back and let her words sink in, his heart cracking as he realised how right she was.

y/n turned to leave but regulus sprung to his feat and grabbed her hand before she could, spinning her to face him. "wait! please. i'm sorry." she scoffed and looked up to him, "you're going to need to do better than sorry regulus." "i know. i know. let me start. i was jealous you're right, i was. i thought i had you to myself unlike everything else in this school. i thought you were the one person who preferred me over sirius. i fell in love with you more and more every night and the thought of you choosing him scared the shit out of me. i'm an asshole for assuming you would do something like that and i'm sorry. truly. i want you, y/n. i want you in every way. i love you so much and you make me so happy. if you want to walk off i-" he was cut off from rambling when a pair of soft lips pressed against his. it startled him at first however he melted into it within seconds and grabbed a hold of her. before it went any further y/n pulled away and smiled. "i love you too idiot. you'd be my first choice any day." she confessed to him, he grinned and pulled her back into the kiss. for the first time in years, he felt complete and he felt loved.