Just a Gloomy Noontide

Trapped in the sinkhole of boredom while he was inside his dim classroom, Kiyan, a weird-looking guy with innocent face was sitting down and reading notes on his lunch break while he was distancing himself from his classmates, his worst nightmare at that time. From the corner he was, he had a clear and sad view of broken glass panes in dusty windows around him, terrible arrangement of chairs and scattered white pieces of chalk. In his front was a wide green board full of vandalism and a varnished wooden throne, a teacher's chair, which was supposed to be standing still where it was, at that moment, was laid on the floor.

People he was with were making noise and celebrating something he was not personally aware of. There was mockery all over the place. They were so annoying. To overcome such awful noise, he just covered his ears with his hands but still, he was distracted. So, when he felt that it had to stop, he first keenly observed them and attentively listened to what they were talking about. The deeper he understood the details, the worse the insecurities that he felt became. It happened on a rainy day yet he was like stuck in hell. His lips were getting pale and dry because of anxiety and annoyance. His sweats dropped as fast as blood which overflows from stab wound. Kiyan wanted to shout and express himself but he couldn't even look at them straight. If he had done it, he would have diverted their attention to him. He was afraid to be bullied again.

While he was thinking what to do, he began to feed his mouth with fingernails. After a few minutes, he just decided to go out. He got up and fixed his things. When he was about to leave, something shocked and bothered him. He found out that the literature book he borrowed from a friend was missing. He checked his bag but, it wasn't there. His hands started to tremble irrepressibly. His heart began to thump so fast. He held tight to the tattooed arm of his chair to control his exploding emotion. Then, he slowly bent his knees until he was completely seated again. His frowning face got fiercer. However, his calmness still prevailed. What was he supposed to do? After taking a deep breath, all by himself, he tried to find it. Searching for it in every part of the room, Kiyan couldn't help but to let himself be flustered. With the same purpose, to be able to locate his book, he made steps towards the bullies and had the guts to ask them. He was stooping down while he was walking. Then, he confronted the bullies. Kiyan approached first the oldest one among them. He had moustache above his burnt lips and wrinkles on his sarcastic face. Kiyan spoke with him.

"Have you seen a book?" Kiyan asked while stuttering.

"Of course, I've seen a book. There's a book here. There's a book there. There's a book everywhere. Am I right?" the man replied and laughed with the intention of making fun of Kiyan.

"I mean, an old book" pitiful Kiyan continued.

"I think almost all the books here are old," answered by the oldest bully. It made Kian more irritated.

"It is an old literature book. J.B. Soriano was the author. Adventures in Philippine Literature was the title. Are you satisfied?" Kiyan lost his control.

"Pages were brown and brittle. Some were not firmly attached anymore. It was covered with an old calendar," he straightforwardly said to his sardonically-smiling classmate.

The cold wind blew.

Kiyan's complexion was getting red and he was knitting his brows. Then, "Have you seen the book?" he repeated it louder.

Kiyan focused his eyes on his classmate's eyes. His eyes were frightening. They were like sharp arrows. However, it seemed that he failed to break his classmate's foolishness.

"I saw the calendar," the sneering man mumbled. "But, not the book, I mean, your friend's book."

Kiyan just turned back. He was extremely exhausted for all his efforts. He felt that there was no hope to find it. Bullies started to tease him and gossip about him. For a while, Kiyan chose to be silent. Something happened next.

"Have you seen a literature book?" He shouted at his classmates. It was a blast. At last, they were alarmed by his thundering voice. Bullies were frozen by his erupting anger. They looked at each other. They did not hit back.

All changed afterwards. These people who had been insensitive in the past few months, for the first time, listened and responded to his need. What is the meaning of that? They helped him look for the book. It was a great feeling of relief on Kiyan's part.

"We will help you out," they committed.

They all positively acted upon it. Kiyan was surprised by how they reacted to his action. He never expected that such kind of people would have gone so much bothered about him or his concern. With a genuine smile, he let them feel how grateful he was.

Somebody entered the room while they were busy looking for it. Then, he stood near the door. He called Kiyan. Kiyan got more nervous when he heard it. He was his Kiyan's nerd friend from whom he borrowed the missing book.

He approached Kiyan with gladness. "Have you eaten yet?"

However, knowing that his friend's book is lost, Kiyan could not look at his eyes. He was still preoccupied.

"By the way, do you still need this?" his friend asked.

"...need, what?" Kiyan replied.

Then, his friend lifted something from his backpack. What a surprise for Kiyan? What Kiyan was anxiously looking for was already in the owner's hand.

Kiyan laughed. He was overwhelmed by what he discovered. His friend and owner of the book wondered why he laughed. Then, everything went fine for Kiyan.

Like wood that has be burnt to become coal, Kiyan had to lose something so he would learn to speak for himself and would release himself from the box of anxiety he had been locked up for most of his life.