Antidepressant {Fred Weasley}

1 - Depression

Hello, and welcome to the rewrite of Learning How To Laugh Again. So, the original sucked, so I thought I would go ahead and rewrite it. Everything is different, which means it's ten times better. I said in the author's note of the last chapter in LHTLA that I didn't get to tell Ammie and Fred's story how I wanted to, so this is me doing so. I couldn't exactly capture the essence of their story in the original, so I hope can express what I wanted to in this book.

Now I need to tie up some loose ends. I changed Ammie's name to Laney, short for Delaney. But, for the sake of the original readers, her name is Ammie Delaney Heart, but she goes by Laney. Therefore same character, but better-and more realistically-written. (Don't worry; I'll keep the same cheesy ending. God forbid I make the ending realist and sad.)

Without further ado, I present to you, Antidepressant.

Imagine your innocence being ripped from your grip on one of the best days of your life.

Imagine waking up on your eleventh birthday with your Hogwarts letter at the foot of your bed. Imagine getting a big breakfast in celebration. Imagine reading and rereading the letter to yourself over and over until you have every bit recognized.

Then imagine going to your friend's house for a few hours because the two of you will be going to Hogwarts together.

Imagine the owl. The owl that brought the letter saying Delaney's parents didn't show up for work. Imagine you're the first one who gets the letter, so you run home. Imagine you get there in time to see the fire. You see the flames stretching up to touch the sky.

Then you hear. You hear the cry of your baby sister. Imagine the fear laced in the wails. Then imagine a worse sound.

Imagine her not crying anymore.

It's a string of unfortunate events of cause and effect. We live in a secluded county home, which caused no one to see the fire. My parents were big on muggle things, which caused them to have simple things like lighters. My little sister knows how to get out her crib, which caused her to be able to crawl into the kitchen. My dad's carelessness caused her to see the lighter on the table. My sister was always curious, which caused her to start the fire.

I had everything ripped from me that day. I was forced into my grandmother's home in the city. I miss our farm and our fields and our house. Now I'm stuck in some flat with my grandma who pinches my cheeks too much, my grandfather who can't stand up without farting, my crazy uncle who thinks he's a wolf, and my alcoholic cousin.

Thank god I'm still able to go to Hogwarts. I couldn't handle staying with my family year round. They mean well, but I can only take so many farts.

Now I lay in my Gryffindor dorm with Olivia, Chloe, and Jeanie. They are, in a way, my only friends. They're the only people I talk to outside of class, therefore I can only consider my peers acquaintances.

"How do you think this year will go?" I ask them.

"I'll drop out with N.E.W.T. stress," Olivia says.

"I'll be the master pranker, stealing the title from Fred and George Weasley," Jeanie relies.

I turn to Chloe. "And you?"

With a serious expression, she stares at me straight in the eyes, and says, "I'm going to get laid."

Everyone bursts out in laughter, besides Chloe and myself. Chloe just turns in bed to sleep.

I wish I could have laughed, but my medication prevents all emotion. Extreme depression calls for extreme medication. So, to prevent me from committing suicide, I have to take pills. Unfortunately, the pills make me feel nothing. I'm not sad, but I'm not happy. It's sort of a neutral feeling.

The worst part about it is when people don't know I'm on medication, and they ask why I'm so boring and emotionless and why I don't care about anything. At times like this, I try to skip taking my pills, but Olivia makes sure I take them every day. Olivia says she does it to help me, but I know she's doing it so she doesn't have to deal with someone else taking their life away. Her brother killed himself last year, and she hasn't been the same since. Who would though? However, that doesn't mean she can treat me like I'm her responsibility. Everyone treats me like I'm a fragile little girl who will break at the wrong word.

But for the Weasley twins, I'm a challenge. They're constantly trying to get me to laugh, and I feel bad that I can't because they're honestly funny guys. They're the kind of people that you want to try hard for their friendship, except I have horrible anxiety, which prevents me from being able to go up and talk to people. So, there's anxiety, depression, and paranoia. Yes, I constantly feel like everyone is staring and judging me, and they honestly hate me as much as I hate myself.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asks.

"Yes, mom," I reply sarcastically. "I'm just thinking. Aren't I allowed to think?"

"You just got that sad look in your eye. Like someone just kicked your puppy."

"Nope, my metaphorical puppy is okay."

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever. I'm going to bed. I have potions first thing in the morning."

"Gross. Snape." Jeanie fakes throwing up over the side of her bed.

"Glad I didn't take potions. You know what I have in the morning? Nothing. Home free." I give Olivia a shit-eating grin, and she flips me off.

"Some of us plan to do something with our life."

"I do plan on doing something."

"Musical Theater isn't something."

"It's something for me, so fuck off." The last part comes a bit snappy, so she drops it. She's never liked 'unstable' career choice, and I've never liked how often she criticizes it.

Jeanie claps her hands in the silence. "Okay, well I say we sleep now to relieve our negative energy."

"Goodnight, Jeanie."

"Night, Laney. Night, Olivia."

"Nighty-night Laney. Night, Jeanie."

"Goodnight, Oli-"

Chloe groans. "Just shut the fuck up and go to sleep already."