A story of the past

Chapter one

Let's start this story off when I was a lot younger, just so you guys can get the whole view of this.

Well when me and my siblings were younger we never really got that "bonding time" with our parents and were left in the care of my father's mother (sandy) and she took care of us for as long as I can physically remember. But growing up as a middle child has its down sides like. Being treated differently directly to your face. My mother and father sat down with my siblings to help them read... But when it came to me they would get too frustrated and give up. (Keep this in mind I was a really late to the talking aspect to life and started talking around the age of 3 or 4[ my first words were "I GOT IT!"]). My parents were always so proud of my siblings for the stupidest things, but I tried not to let it get to me I was a transfer student at a really young age and was bullied. Sometimes it was physically or verbally but I tried not to let them get to me. We moved when I was in 2ed grade and I was still going to the same school. I came home with excitement all over my face. I had won a poetry contest at school and it was rewritten on a golden paper like thing and I showed my parents, ya know to get the parent love from them. Instead I got this "who's work did you steal?" And I started to realize a really young are that my blood parents didn't really care about me. So I turned to the woman that has loved me since I was a new born baby once middle school came around she slowly started loosing her memories of us and she turned to my blood mother and said "if I dare forget your names please put me into a nursing home" and by 7th grade I lost my grandmother to a nursing home and I was running into more physical and emotional pain threw the whole process I made so pretty toxic friends and one of them I will mention later let's call her EMY but in 8th grade I started to explore the big wide internet and run into a man and I learned later one he was a child predator and was making young girls turn a blind eye and I had been one of those girls but kept my mouth shut and moved on in life with a lot of anxiety and depression (from losing the one close) and was put in the hospital that same year for attempting harm to myself but I knew it was wrong so I got treatment and while in the hospital my blood parents made some what of an effort to call me and all I could do at times was hid from the nurses who I had no clue if they could hurt me once I was out of the hospital I was really... not myself anymore and I felt more like a prisoner in my own body. I had an injury and it had gotten worse in the hospital. But the antidepressants and anxiety medication made it harder to ask for help... when I needed it so desperately and it got gradually worse with the more medications slapped onto something that was lost in this world. And I finally picked myself up freshman year and was slapped back down be having to raise 4 kids at the age of 15 years old and I started raising them at the age of 8 years old. And not only that I was slapped back into a hospital because my blood parents couldn't keep track if I took my pills or not. Once I was out of the hospital and back up on my feet I gained a lot of weight and my blood mother would body shame me... but I brushed it off and went in the shophmor year head first and ran straight into a wall of abuse relationship after relationships and started to date my best friend from middle school EMY and she was nice and everything when we were in a Polly relationship an once our other partner left she lost it she would dress me up in really skimpy dresses and physically and mentally abuse me. I broke up with her really close to her birthday (i know I am a shitty person for doing that) and was in and out of a relationship with one guy up until 2021 (back track a little my fathers mother passed away in 2020 and I started losing myself and needed to work on myself) towards the end of junior year I contacted my friend friend from elementary school and he was older but he also friends with my grandmother too. Let's call him NLOS, me and NLOS met up at the park and we started to see each other more and more up until he asked me out in may of 2021 and I didn't say no so I agreed and little did I know just how much. I loved this man and he changed my views on life but not only that... wait did you think I was gonna skip a really important part of the story? Joke on you 😁. Once NLOS and I settled into the relationship something it me out of no where and it is now a life long thing I live with. And I owe so much to NLOS to coming to my parents house that day and calling 911 for me. Once I finally realized what was happening it could have very well have killed me that very first night. I was in the ER last summer during a grad party I fainted and the doctors said that my body didn't have enough water. But the next three days of my life are the ones that really scares me still today. I only really remember the pain threw my admen up threw my chest but I had my cousin come over on Tuesday to watch me to make sure I don't lose contuses and the very next day was the day I could have very well lost more then the chance to be here and alive. I was in the living room playing a video game with NLOS and he was asking me questions. But one moment my body felt very weird and I logged off but kept him on the phone he starts asking if he needed to come over... that was the very last sentence I Hurd come from him. But when I came too was the EMT'S asking me questions at this point I barely remember what was happening I look around to see NLOS standing in my parents living room helping them answering questions. But I was so out of it to realize I was having seizures in my parents house. They got me into the ambulance and called my father to let them knew that I was having what looked to be seizures. But me father said he was close to the house and will take me to the ER. I lost little memories from how I got out of the ambulance. And the next thing I remember was I was in my dad's friends car and my dad was talking to me. I started crying (yes it was VERY painful) and apologizing. But the one thing my dad said really quietly was...no it's my own fault I let you down as you father. Once we got to the ER my mother was there and she was in tears and she didn't realize it was until she saw it with her own eyes. And I was was in a room in the ER and my mother sat there in tears seeing me struggling to breathe at points seeing my neck looking like it was going to break. And the few moments I remember was the doctors having my mother hold my arm steady so they could get blood and to get an IV into my arm. And my mother held my hand in the room apologizing to me. But the pain was so much at the time that I forgave her. The doctor came back in and told my mother that it's was not Epilepsy but that it could be an allergic reaction to my antidepressant I was on and they gave me benadrill threw my IV and released me to my parents I slept when I got home but that lasted 2 hours and then my body started back up when I was trying to eat food. And my mother finally convinced me to go back to the ER. And there I was sleeping and having seizures in my sleep and my mother was screaming at the doctor to do more to try and help me. But they gave me a seizure medication threw my IV and left nothing connected to my IV to about TWO HOURS and when I got released again my mother didn't fight with me she knew I was in a weak and fragile state and my physiatrists said he didn't know that my body would have reacted in that way. And gave me more pills to try and get it under control. But the terrifying thing was that fact he said it would last a few months. It has almost been a year know I have been engaged since my 18th birthday by NLOS and now me and NLOS are married and now are expecting a little one now but... I still struggle with seizures and having a small rip in my right labrum. But I am in my second trimester and I am living with NLOS a happy and healthy life away from my Blood Parents. (P.S. stay tooned I am going to say something on the next page read if you so choose)