Dance Through Trauma

April 7, 2022

I had a job interview yesterday, and it went very well. I initially thought the job was for the school cafeteria, but it was actually for cleaning. I'm fine with being a school custodian though. I enjoy cleaning because it is therapeutic, and it will help me build muscle. The interviewer was really kind, and he is an Elvis Presley fan! He will be my boss for the job, and what he told me sounded good for me. I know the cleaning work can be a bit physically tough, but I don't mind any physical tiredness from work because my biggest motivation to keep going is the money. Plus, I would love the job because it is a job that you do alone during the evenings. It sounds like the perfect job for me, and I am so glad that I found it. I do think I will get the job. I have to first do fingerprints, and a criminal check for the school since of course it's a school. The government wouldn't want someone with a bad criminal record working at a school. Obviously, I don't have any criminal history, so I should be good. Once I get all that done, I will work for three days a week when I start the job. Once I know everything, I will do it full time. The benefits, hours, and pay salary are decent. I really hope I get the job, and that I do well with it. I just hope my mom and her boyfriend can hang on to each other for a bit longer until I can keep my job and know for certain that I can work for the rest of my life, so I can have my mom and siblings move in with me until they receive social security income. Life will be very good for us, and I'm happy for it. I've been thinking that after a few years of doing the custodian job, and if I can workout more easily like if I can do many push-ups, then I will see if I apply for the police academy that I was interested in months ago. It's an academy that is a part of a university, which sounds really good to me. I would love to be a police officer. I want to improve my social skills, so when I get my autism diagnosis, I will ask for speech therapy or whatever is needed to improve my communication skills. That way, it is easier for me to communicate with anyone. During the next few years, I really need to get my driver's license. I want to get it this year, but there isn't really a car for me to use to practice driving at the moment. My mom has a friend who can probably teach me, but I'm afraid that I'll end up crashing her friend's car into something, so I don't know. However, I really need to practice. I just don't feel motivated enough to study driving for the driver's license test, but I will try to read about it over time from an app I downloaded the other day. I've been very unmotivated to do anything lately except these past few days. I'm feeling better now, but I did feel very sad. The feeling of exhaustion with life can make me suicidal. I'll hang on for now.

- April 7, 2022