P o s s e s s i v e m u c h ? Batmanxjoker

34- REUNION

The bus was loud and rickety, leaning side to side with every turn and cut corner. With each turn the Joker felt like the bus could topple over and fall. His insides turned slowly with anxiety, a brew of nausea forming in my stomach. He looked to the window trying to occupy my mind with something else. The idea of crying on a bus didn't seem appealing or idealistic. He wondered if he could of get off the bus and maybe cry outside as he walked, but that didn't sound idealistic either.

Stay in the bus it is then. He agreed to himself. He did not want to. After Joker had stumbled across commissioner Gordon's little conversation with Batman he bolted, taking off into the night to wherever his legs took him. It was only after thirty minutes of running and nearly collapsing did he decide to stop. He wandered around with no purpose, he was still numb from witnessing what was the ultimate betrayal. His mind had completely spaced out, he felt lifeless, inside, and out.

He had been doing well with blocking out his emotions until he got on the bus, the bus was empty, granted it was around 11:PM nearing 12, of course nobody would be inside. Seeing that it was vacated he entered and sat at a seat, way back at the bus, situated away from the driver. It was then his emotions really began to sink in, the emotional tidal wave that he'd been trying to hold back for so long was unleashed. He was the dam and the flood water had broken through.

There was no one feeling because he felt them all. Humiliation, sadness, regret, anger, all intangible but present. They sat inside him, lingering and festering until becoming unbearable. He wanted to scream to punch something, to cry! Something that could at least appease his monstrous feelings. But he couldn't do that, Joker merely sat there silently. A singular tear rolled down his cheek, it felt cold, very cold.

Why would he do this to me? Joker questioned, he find it hard to fathom how Batman, someone he had trusted and grown to care for could turn around and stab him in the back like this. But there were few answers the clown had formulated in his head, whilst he spent his time thinking, answers that made him realise a bitter truth he had been trying to block out.

He never cared in the first place. Joker sniffed, it was painful to think about, it was even more painful to think that he'd fallen for the Dark Knight's act so willingly, that those words and gestures were all lie, a lie that he had so gullibly accepted.

I'm so stupid for thinking Batsy would ever care about someone like me. If the Joker weren't so upset, he would have found the situation funny, it was laughable almost. Like a naive idiot I believed everything he said. He pondered bitterly.

Why me? Joker thought with immense disappointment. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against his seat. I probably fucking deserve this. He exhale slowly. The universe has finally gotten its payback. He scoffed.

Batman is my payback. He believed that this was his punishment for his sins. The Joker had become accustomed to the universe knocking him down, his karma point weren't exactly the best and if this was form of punishment it was fair. But it still hurt, it hurt very much. This wasn't the regular hurt he faced or pain that was physical. This pain left a different imprint, an imprint that left an aching in the heart and queasiness in the stomach. This hurt was killing him. It was killing him to know that he had been vulnerable, had been open, had been himself, and it had backfired.

"Umm sir, where to?" The bus driver suddenly asked. He interrupted the Joker from his thoughts. Joker registered the question; he had only just realised that he'd just walked in and given no directions. Where to? Joker honestly didn't know. He felt like he could drive around the whole city and still not feel satisfied.

"Young man?" The driver asked seeing that the teenager wasn't answering. Joker straightened himself up and thought. Who could I go to? Who wouldn't rat me out? God if Ivy were here, she would totally know. Joker paused after that thought. Ivy, Ivy? And then it hit him.