Kotaro Dansho

Inflation

"Sorry to tell you," Meron says and scratches the back of his neck, "We've had a bit of an inflation here, so I'm afraid this won't do." His eyes fall on the money in my outstretched hand. "Best I can do for this is the refined version, or some weed for your pain. Might help with the appetite." He looks me over with his brow drawn up. "That cloak was smaller on you last year."

"This is all I have," I say and put the money on his marble counter. Clearly, his inflation issue didn't get in the way of that replacing a perfectly good oak plank. "I can add the weapons I have on me, or services."

Meron chuckles, the sheen on his porous nose flashing up and down my blurry vision. "Services? No offence, Itachi, but you're trying to score coarse Kotaro. What services are you possibly capable of providing in your condition?"

"You know whose cloak and ring I'm wearing. That kind of services."

"I'm afraid I don't have anyone to murder or abduct at the moment. Here's some refined Kotaro, and a gram of weed on the house to make it up to you for coming all the way for nothing."

I raise the hand that hangs out of my cloak to decline Meron's gesture. "I know the current price of weed; it's been offered to me countless times on my way from the village gates to your office. This money should buy me a month's worth of weed in addition to refined Kotaro, so don't talk to me about freebies."

Meron's eyes narrow. "You're plenty sassy from down there, weasel," he growls. "Or is that squint just your vasculitis finally invading your eyes?"

"Both." Not sure how he guessed what I have though. Creep.

"God damn y-" His face lights up mid-sentence. "How important is this drug to you?"

I roll my eyes at the polished ground. Every week I don't take it, is months off my expiration date. "Surely, you could temporarily replace some staff with me? Given the profit margins, paying me in drugs should be-"

"I don't need to replace anyone. In fact, I have a job with unlimited vacancies that you could excel at."

Drug trials, cage fights, so many options.

"You'll have to wear this though." Meron produces a leather collar from a drawer behind his counter. Its insides are lined with contacts typically used in chakra disruption tech. "We're no shinobi village, Itachi, so you'd be like a fox in a hen house without it."

So, cage fights. "How much do I have to win for a year's supply?"

"Win?" Meron laughs out of his smoke-damaged throat, then calls over his shoulder into the back office. "You hear that, boys? Our customer here thinks we're hiring his skinny ass for cage fights or something!"

More slimy laughter erupts from behind the shoji screens. "Yo, Boss," one man hollers back, "Can I fight him first? I got bills to pay, and I dunno if he's gonna be upright by the time I'm done with him!"

"Don't be like that," Meron laughs. "You shouldn't underestimate this guy, even reduced to hand-to-hand combat."

"Please," the other man replies, "My cousin who works at a Shukuba hotel knows him, says the last person he beat bare-handed was a twelve-year-old boy."

Something's rising in me, and it's not vomit from the stench of weed and smoke in here. "Shall I come back there and update that record?" I call over Meron's shoulder.

Silence, then more laughter. Meron emerges from behind the counter and herds me to a sitting corner in the lobby. Whatever is made of metal, is made of gold. Huge marble tiles cover the floor. The coffee table Meron gestures for me to sit at is a lobster tank with a slab of glass on it. Four lobsters, claws tied with rubber bands, are waiting for their culinary demise.

"I can tell you're struggling, Meron."

"Lose the attitude," Meron says and holds the collar at me. "It won't do you any good. You can take the job, or you can take my previous offer and get the fuck out of here."

"What is the job?" As if I have the luxury of choice here.

"You were in the ANBU, right? So you know Shinobi is short for shinobitaeru, to bear shit without bitching."

Mines? Not with my lung, please, anything but mines. "To be fair, it doesn't get much worse than ANBU."

"I suppose that's one way to look at it. You won't be needing this much fabric where you're going," Meron cackles and brushes my cloak off my shoulders to put the collar around my neck. I don't recall allowing his oily hands on me, but speaking of shinobitaeru... Closing the collar in the nape of my neck, he aligns the contacts with my main vessels. "Whenever you think you should be using Genjutsu, Ninjutsu, activate your rabies eyes or form hand seals, basically any time you start forming chakra, the collar will not only send an impulse to cancel that chakra out, but also paralyse you for a bit so you can be handled safely."

Be handled? Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe instead of prolonging my life, I should shorten the build-up to its final act. "I'm so sorry to have wasted your time," I say and reach back to undo the collar. A current shoots down my spine and I collapse sideways on the sofa. My brain is completely disconnected from my body. This can't be happening.

Meron sighs. "You didn't think you could remove your own muzzle, did you? These collars are programmed to activate on anyone's finger print but mine and select staff's. I put them on. I take them off. Your involuntary functions remain intact, so you'll keep breathing. The duration depends on your overall fitness. Don't worry, you can shower in it as long as you're careful. You'll be showering several times a day." He rises and pulls my cloak and headband off me, then proceeds to emptying my pockets. "I'll be holding on to this for you, except your medication. You should have that with you, and we'll be supplying you as needed. Also that ring, we can't have Akatsuki here."

He scoops me up, flings me over his shoulder, and carries me outside. I try to memorize what the ground looks like so I can find my way back, but can't even move my eyes. They're looking straight down Meron's fat back, and from there, it's all cobble and a blur. I think I'm down to less than half of my original visual acuity. Maybe this job isn't so bad after all and he just likes scaring newbies. I could probably beat him up, make a run for it, and have Kisame remove the collar when we're alone.