The Little Scared Girl.

I Can't Breathe.

The very next morning Rubbing tears off my eyes I grabbed myself and made myself ready to go to school ...

I neither wanted to go to school nor I wanted to stay at home because by staying it made me feel lonely and every moment here realising me that he is no more; that I am all alone and he's not coming back....

I haven't felt like this before, like so lonely, so empty .. uptill now ..

I always thought the situations that I've been through were the only difficult and un bearable ones but now when I look at this and then look at myself In the mirror I don't come up with anything ...
I feel embarrassed; I look guilty for feeling like shit in the past couple of months ... making complains to God for not giving me what I wanted ... for taking my beloved from me .. for leaving me so lonely ...

Cause now I really know how it feel likes when you are really alone ..

Alex ...
here I hear a sweet voice of my mom inturppting my thoughts.

Yes mom .. I replied softly

My love you are late .. by the way you are going to school right ?
My mom questioning me as if I would go to bed again with a sad face ..

I walked out my door towards the staircase and replied
Yes mom your daughter is ready.
I gave her a glance with a smile

She moved her fingers over my hairs and kissed my forehead and added ..
Did anyone ever tell you how much your mom loves you ..

I know mom and I love you the most ..
I replied and then hugged her tightly.

I walked out of my house .. I decided to walk to the school instead taking my bike.

The weather was quite dry the breeze were making me feel cold ... I grabbed my arms around me looking at the emptiness on the streets and corners of every stop I made.

I took a deep breath and kept on walking.

Then finally I reached school and as I stepped into the gate everyone started giving me their sympathetic look ... I was trying hard to ignore that look so I kept on walking by keeping my eyes straight on the ground so that I could neglect that look ... but I failed to do that and I gave them a little glance and then I felt paralysed and stood at the middle of the ground for about few minutes and then I hear a voice ...

Alex ? Hey dear are you ok ?
And that was jackson .... I gave him a amusing look and took a step back .... then I took two more step back and I turned around and started running like an insane person towards the gate of the school.

Alex .. wait ... wait for mee ...
Jackson was yelling for me to stop for him ...
I was listening to him but I was out of my guts to stop their anymore, I kept on running with tears falling on the ground and grabbing my arms around me ...

Suddenly I bumped into someone we both fall .... all the books from my bag was out ..

Hey girl watch yourself ... !!
A man said with grasping voice.

Sssor.. sorryy ...
I replied softly while putting my things in the bag with my hands shaking ..

He heard my voice and looked at me and tried to help me ...

Hey miss are you alright ? Can I help you .?
His voice felt so soft and calm and made me feel like I could cry on his shoulders so I couldn't resist looking at him,. so I raise my eyes and gave him a look but my vision was all blur cause of tears so I couldn't see him clearly but his voice ....

Ahhhh .....

I could've have told him everything cause of his sweet tone ... but instead I took my bag and without giving him any reply I started running again ....

I am sure that he watched me crying like a puppy ... and probably till now he would be thinking of me as an insane girl.

Then finally I stopped running cause I was breathing heavily and in order to take a deep breath I needed to stop; and guess what I found myself standing in the middle of the cemetery.
My heart sank into the blood pumping through my veins.. deep inside I knew why I was here, cause I wanted to spend some time with my grandad ...

So I walked towards his grave and sat there.
I was looking at the grave sorrowfully ...
I tried to take out my diary while rubbing tears off my eyes ...

I started writing about this whole situation while tears continously dropping off my eyes ...

And the time passed like this .. like me sitting at my grandad's grave with my diary .. and then suddenly my cellphone buzzed in my jean's pocket and when I raise my head I found that it was almost sunset ..

It was mom calling me, she was calling me because it was sunset. So I grabbed my things and stood up.

It felt so good and relaxing sitting there with him .. it felt like he is still here for me .. I didn't wanted to leave that place but I had to ...and started walking out of the cemetery towards my house..

In the meantime that voice popped into my head ...

I eagerly wanted to hear that voice again but I knew it wasn't possible cause this city is full of people with the same resembling voices so it was kinda lame thing to think... but unfortunately that voice was not getting off my mind.
And there I reached my door .. I stepped in and watched my mom serving dinner for my uncle she gave me a look and said;

You are late ... Alex you know the rule, the dinner ....

Serves at 8 ..
I completed .. for her ..
I know mom and ot won't happen again I promise.
I added.

Good .. now come on grab a chair ... my mom said ..

And there I saw my mom smile after that incident so at the end of this day this was the best thing to see ... that is the smile of my lady ...

So I hope you all liked my new chapter ...
I am sorry for updating this chapter late but I was buzy in a serious issue so I beg your pardon ....

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I will upload the new chapter soo I promise ...