Hopeless

XXI

"When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on." –Theodore Roosevelt

One week later; a week of complete confusion, self-doubt and irreversible hatred towards me from me, I found myself thinking of the past events and longing for my departure from New York. Many things happened during that week. After Ian basically told me it was my fault we almost kissed, even though he was the one to push me against the wall and thoroughly turn my life upside-down, I went looking for Hannah. Making a few calls, driving by her apartment and texting her number uncountable times were only a few things I did in desperate need to reach her. I even called my brother but he did not answer. My last chance was to go looking for her at her mother's house. Having Hannah talk about it for almost half of our friendship, it was fairly easy to find my way to it.

I felt quite uncomfortable visiting Hannah's mother's house uninvited, but I was in great need of my best friend. Whatever happened with Ian and I, Hannah had to know and inform me of what to do. A couple of minutes passed with me just standing outside the front door, inching my finger closer and closer until I finally ringed their bell. The sound of it echoed inside, intimidating my already weakened feelings. Though, as the seconds went by and the intensity of my feelings wore off, I realized the mistake I was about to make.

Hannah was not only my best friend, but also Ian's. My own thoughts and feelings created by Ian's confusing behavior in my aunt's apartment, overwhelmed me and clouded my senses. I could not confide in Hannah when the person that stroked me out of my ordinary, was someone she really loved.

Taking a shaky breath, I turned around and walked away from the entrance. I had not taken more than three steps forward when the door flung open and a familiar voice grasped my attention.

'Thought you would never ring that bell.' It was definitely not Hannah who made that snarky comment, considering the voice was of a male's, yet I was sure to have heard it before.

'Hannah is not here if you are looking for her.' The fact that he knew I came for Hannah stopped me from walking any further and forced me to turn around to face that know-it-all.

'Surprise..' He said once my body was fully facing him.

'You?'

'Me.'

'How did you-. What are you doing here?' I questioned, obviously dazed and remarkably confused as to how he was standing there in front of me. A feeling I had gotten used to over the last few years.

'I am here for the same reason I was at the ball on New Year's eve; I am Hannah's brother.' I felt as if the ground was swept off my feet and my whole life has just been a huge scheme. The man that I was looking for the entire time I was at Hannah's New Year's eve ball, was actually her brother. Only that did not explain why I thought I had seen him before.

'Have we met before?' I asked timidly, hoping he would not take it the wrong way and think of me as a creepy stranger. Eyes slightly shut and head tilted to the side, Hannah's brother pretended to think back on his life. A smirk formed on his lips and in a matter of seconds he broke into a pit of loud laughter, leaving me still very much confused.

Once he was done with his little show, he offered me his hand and said, 'My name is Nico and I was the guy who took care of you when you were drunk, last year.'

'I—' I didn't know what to say. I stood there speechless and with my mouth open; no breaths coming in or out. It came as a shock to me that the guy who took me to his house on the night of my birthday, right after I had ruined my best friend's and boyfriend's life, was not only standing right across from me, he was also my current best friend's brother and he remembered everything that happened that dreadful night.