Hopeless

Zero

Hope is the most hopeless thing of all - Abraham Cowley

That is it Katerina. That is the end of my letter. It turned out to be a little longer than I expected, but I am happy I got to share that with you.

And to finally answer your question, Katerina, why I after your father told me he loved me, why after meeting so many people and kind of shaping a life that seemed to have a future in New York, I still left for England. The reason, Katerina, is not because I thought I had nothing that kept me there. It was the exact opposite, really. I left New York City because I had everything there. Hannah, who mattered the most to me, I had a special person who in all actuality changed my life, your father and I had Nova. I might not have had her literally, but every memory stored in my brain was in New York and as silly as it may sound, it hurt to leave it all there.

There were so many things that could prevent me from going 'home', yet I left in a heartbeat. Why? Well, because I was scared. I was scared, terrified actually, to lose it all just like I had lost everything else.

I hope you enjoy my novel of a letter, Katerina, and I hope it is everything you expected of it even if it is a bit old fashioned. I worked hard to remember everything and give you a full view of what went down while I lived in New York, even if your dad thrived to distract me whenever he could.

I love you with all my heart, your mother.

P.S. We will be waiting for you and Rachel for dinner next weekend. Don't be late please or else your dad will go crazy again.

He was sitting on his desk chair, his eyebrows trying to reach each other, his lips curled into a thin line, reading what seemed to be one of the novels of mine I handed out to him to review. I smiled; he was everything I wanted. He got me to forget about my past, focus on my present and plan for my future.

'I finished it.' I softly say and his head shots up to my direction. He smiles wide and motions me to sit on the chair in front of his desk.

'Did you now?' He asks and I nod proudly. 'Did you make it have a questioning ending?' He teased, making me laugh and shrug my shoulders.

'Couldn't help it.' We just looked into each other's eyes, enjoying the peace that engulfed us. 'Do you want to read it?' He just looked at me, smiling.

'Read it to me.'

'Dear Katerina,'

THE END