I barely sleep...
I just couldn't...
It's been too long when I felt the warmth that makes me sleep at night. Underneath my blanket, my eyes are wide open, overthinking and too emotional.
Something's missing...
Is it you I've been longing?
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"Sooyeon?" My dear friend called so I looked back at her with a straight face I've been wearing for years and they're used to it really.
"Want to hangout later?" She said with an excitement yet hoping for me to join them for god knows when was the last time I joined them.
"No, I'm busy." She could tell with my expression I'm avoiding someone from our circle of friends who will join later.
"She's not joining either if that's what you're worried about so please?" She bargains again but that makes me think twice or maybe she's just tricking me to join them because I know they're missing me.
"I know you wanted to join." She said with sadness in her voice and I felt it when I started to avoid them and just stayed at home for years, I've been overthinking and it overwhelms me causing me not having enough sleep.
"I just wanted to keep busy" I held my tears and started to think the same thoughts running through my head but I'm at work.
"Oh, c'mon Sooyeon it's been 5 years already and she already moved on from you!" She's mad at me but I couldn't help myself not to think I'm lacking with many things that's why our relationships getting bored until she decided to leave me behind.
"I'm sorry. I've got to go." I saw the clock at 5 so I started to pick up my things and go without saying anything in return, I know she will understand me.
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BUS TERMINAL
(SOOYEON POV)
I also stop driving my car because I started to get sleepy that might cause me into accident, I'm afraid I will die without getting enough sleep maybe someday I'll think I'm ready to die without regrets. Usually, she drive me at work and everywhere so driving makes me think alot of her. Everywhere I go it reminds me of her and thinking what if we didn't met in the past.
"It's raining?" Suddenly it started to felt it over my skin and I did not bring my umbrella but thankfully the bus arrived before I totally got wet from the rain.
The bus felt so empty when I'm just alone riding it and choose to seat at the back beside the window. The rain makes me feel cold and will help me to fall asleep but thinking of the pain I started to hate my sleep and my emotions overwhelmed me again when I'm thinking about sleeping until I felt someone sat beside me.
"..........." We kept in silence and I liked it when no one bothers me when I just wanted to be alone so we sat in full silence on our ride home.
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"Why are you keep following me?* The passenger said while looking back at Sooyeon in full confusion.
"Because I wanted to." Sooyeon's stubbornness makes TaeYeon irritated as always. She loves to see the midget mad at her because simply she's adorable even though their relationship with each other wasn't good enough to be totally friends because of their past.
"If I'm not a good person I already killed you before." TaeYeon sighed but she knew Sooyeon deals with herself when she broke up with her girlfriend 5 years ago so she let her stay and followed her around though the woman infront of her turned her down 5 years ago.
*She's still lovely.* TaeYeon sees her as one gorgeous woman and perfect through her eyes but Sooyeon never felt the same way as hers, that's been engraved into her mins yet she's still accepted her everytime she's down.
"Drink?" They both enter TaeYeon's studio apartment and Sooyeon started to arrange the shoes in order like before they
"The usual." Sooyeon misses her cozy place because it's always feels like home. The midget always been beside her through ups and down although she knew how she treated her but her feelings for her never fades. She doesn't want to hurt her and decided to keep her as a friend, they've been childhood friends as well and been inlove in secret.
"You need some sleep." TaeYeon noticed how Sooyeon's eyebags shows and also her health was declining well enough for her to confine at the hospital.
"I hate to sleep." Sooyeon never been get the sleep because she hates or you can tell she doesn't need it anymore because she will drown in pain more.
*Stubborn.* TaeYeon sighed and put Sooyeon's black coffee on the table infront of her visitor.
"Guess, I will not get my sleep either." TaeYeon place her mug of black coffee near Sooyeon and sat not to far from her.
"What if....?" Sooyeon started to speak in between her deep breath but TaeYeon needs to stop it.
"Sooyeon." TaeYeon didn't let her continue and just held Sooyeon's cold hand while her eyes stares through her soul.
"I'm sorry." Sooyeon spoke while TaeYeon keep silence until her hand runs through Sooyeon's blonde hair when she remembers something.
"You don't have to be sorry. Let's drink our coffee and what do you want to watch?" TaeYeon says after she stop touching Sooyeon's blonde hair.
*I want to sleep with you.* Sooyeon's eyes widen when she blurted out those words without having second thoughts and it really makes her embarrassed beside the girl whom she turned down 5 years ago.
"You can lend my shoulder." TaeYeon's kindness giving her mixed signals but she knew the latter was just being considerate of her feelings regarding the break up of her and her girlfriend.
*Thanks, I really need it.* Sooyeon's very grateful to her childhood friend and her eyes started to fell sleepy in an instant without disturbance as she feels TaeYeon's finger running through her blonde hair, slowly her lips curves into a shy smile before she close her eyes.
"Sooyeon?" TaeYeon called but the woman remains motionless and she knew, she will sleep forever.
THE END.
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PS: Sorry for being hiatus. Thank you everyone for keep on supporting me ❤️
chocomint89
