Crumbs

Queen Snow White

Yall remember fractured fairy tales, from school?- So I made Snow White a bitter kick-ass lesbian and Red Riding Hood her gf

Kinda hate the end but eh :/

NOT PROOF READ-

Also, I went with the version of sw I know, where there's one scene where she sings with a little boy that was in the castle courtyard for some reason?- Idk which version it is, but apparently that's not a universal thing, so just fyi

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So, you think you know Snow white.

The story of a little girl shunned by her stepmother, who sent her off to be killed. How she escaped, and found a cottage of dwarves that let her stay. Blah blah blah, she helped them and basically became their maid, stepmum found out she was still alive and poisoned her with the iconic red apple. 

Random prince found her, and suddenly it was "true loves kiss" and she woke up and all was happy. But can we talk about the fact she'd never met the guy?! I mean, just because he's a prince, doesn't mean she automatically loved him. 

Maybe he was an entitled stuck-up prick! But oh, no, because "It's implied that he was the little boy she was singing with!" But he wasn't! What royal family lets their child wander around in the castle of another kingdom? 

The boy was a peasant, and just a close friend that slipped through the castle gates. But of course, everyone assumed she woke up from the kiss, and bibbity bobbity, they were "lovers."

Sure.

But did anyone ask her? Did anyone bother to ask the princess, "Hey, you're awake now, wanna go on with your life?" Did anyone bother to think that maybe she just happened to wake up around the same time? The poison put her in a temporary coma, she was bound to wake up at some point.

No, no one asked me "Do you actually love him?"

AND WHY WOULD I?!

I mean, they'd never seen a coma before, so they thought I was dead.

WHO KISSES A CORPSE??

I'm so sick of him lounging around the castle and sitting on the throne that should be MINE.

When my stepmum was locked away, you'd think the crown would have gone to me. But I was stuck with that "Prince Charming," and when it came down to the new pair of monarchs, he was crowned the ruler. 

No one seemed to remember that I was the one born and raised in this kingdom. No one seemed to care that he was never a prince here, a foreign boy from a foreign land. So the obnoxious prince became "King Charming," and I stayed "Princess Snow." The royal consort. The second in command in a kingdom where the crown was my birthright.'

"Miss Snow?"

Snow's head whipped up, closing the journal.

"Yes?"

It wasn't the servants fault, but she couldn't find it in herself to warm her icey tone, so she went with that, scowling at the messenger.

"Your husband requests your presence at the welcoming of your brother in law, Prince Charming II, and his royal escort."

"Tell him he can go eat a green apple."

"With all due respect your highness, this is an order."

Snow growled, but locked the jornal, dropping the key back around her neck and shoving the book under her pillow.

The servant scurried away, and Snow spun around from where she lay on her front in the middle of the bed, shuffling to the edge and swinging her legs off the side to stand up.

"Blah blah blah, 'royal escort,' blah blah oh I'm so handsome by the way-"

Her muttering cut off when she reached the bottom of the stone staircase leading to her quarters, (and her stepmums old quarters, before she took the throne from Snow's dad), and she stepped out into the hall, striding down the carpet with her head held high. 

A few of the servants gave her quick bows, but for the most part ignored the annoyed princess, busy scurrying around preparing for tonight's feast.

"Ah, my dear Snow! Brother, meet my love, princess Snow White."

The prince's party stood up to greet her as she came through the doors, and snow put on a smile, bowing slightly and hiding the curling anger from the king's greeting.

"So glad to finally meet you! My brother talks about you a lot, and I can see now that he wasn't exaggerating."

The prince took her hand, and she let him kiss it, a tiny bit of her scowl slipping through as he grinned at her.

"Careful Charlie, she's taken!"

"I can see that, and so are you."

A movement at the side of the travelling party caught Snow's attention, and when she looked, to her surprise, there was a girl about her age in a bright red cloak and hood, with a crossbow at her side.

Crossbow?

A girl with a crossbow?

The girl was rolling her eyes at the obnoxious brothers, till she spotted Snow staring and grinned, mouthing silent words to her.

'He's a pain.'

Snow snorted, giving her reply.

'Mine too.'

'Red' as she had dubbed her laughed, and the p̶r̶i̶n̶c̶e̶s̶s̶ queen smiled as her husband bit into an apple handed to him, and started choking, coughing and clutching his chest.

Like mother like daughter.

But maybe this will be a little more fun than I thought.

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THREE MONTHS LATER

"And I now pronounce you wife and wife! You may kiss the- other bride."

"ALL HAIL QUEEN SNOW WHITE AND QUEEN RED RIDING HOOD!!"

Red lifted the old crown, and placed it on her betrotheds head, Snow bowing slightly so she could reach, smiling.

Fun indeed.

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Lesbian Disney princesses. You know I'm right.

Also side note does anyone know how tf you put strikethrough text without an external generator?-

Also I kinda hate this but I feel obliged to post it bc it's possibly the only complete story I've ever written and I must feed the incredibly supportive and constantly starving hermitpad internet culture, even if it's not hermitcraft stuff-