Ghost of the Evening Child

Chpt.4

"Why are we here?"
"To say Goodbye..."

We were at the cementary. Everywhere you look at graves. The scent of incense filled the air. Normally these kinds of things don't affect me. I can't control my breathing, my chest hurts. Am I gonna pass out?

"Miss Yoko please calm down." I can't... I can't... I can't... I can't. I finally snapped...

"UGHHHHH!" I fell down on my knees my dress was now a bit dirty. "Why do you have to leave? Tell me why? Why now? Out of every day you could choose why now!?" I couldn't control myself.

"All of you! You'll just leave me alone! After everything I did for you! Was it not enough?" I need to calm down, but my mouth couldn't stop. I'm not in my right mind. I can't get a hold of myself.

"Screw it! I gave you everything you wanted! And you can't even give anything back to me!" I shouldn't yell at her... No. I didn't want this to happen. Sayoko gave me a reason to enjoy the small things. She's done more for me than I did for her.

"Are the test scores not enough? Why are you leaving me!? I gave it my best i swear!" I'm hearing things... I could hear the words of disappointment coming from my parents from everyone. Who am I talking to? I screamed my voice echoed throughout the whole cementary. Insanity was taking over me.

"Please don't leave me alone... Spend more time with me. Time... give me more time... time... time.." tears were streaming down my face.

I hear a voice say "Stand up Sayoko." I tilted my head up and saw the younger version of me...

The one who I killed a long time ago

"Mom! Dad let's go play!" I was a small sweet child. Who knew nothing about the world. "Well play later okay? I promise..." That's what they always say. When will later ever come?

They were busy I understood that. My parents were doing this for me. Yes for my sake... For who else would it be? "Teddy when do you think is later?" I talked to my stuffed bear "Is later a long time?" later was never. I had many toys to play with, that's fine. Completely fine... I was alone... it's not fine.

The only friends I had back then were my toys. We would have tea parties, play house and watch movies together. Even if I had no human playmates I was contented with what I had, that's what I thought until I started longing for more. "Am I boring? or just annoying?" I asked myself. I felt a bit guilty always asking people to play with me. So I just stayed silent at the corner. "Bunbun is here so no need to fear!" I cheered myself up.

They had no time to play with me... but they had plenty to scold me.

I was six years old during that time, father would beat me up because I drew something on the dinning table. He hit me with his belt. This is just how they show love right? Discipline that's what is was called. Mother would do the same everytime I scored low on a test. She slapped me with her hand and sometimes my face would bruise, her nails would dig into my skin and leave cuts on my cheek. Whenever I cried that made them hit me more and more and more. Is this what they call love?

I studied so hard just for them to take me to the amusement park. Father promised to take me there if I get a perfect score. I became the top of my class not a singke wrong mark could be seen on my test sheets "Sorry... Daddy is a bit busy now and we have no money. We'll just take you there another time." he broke his promise. No matter how many times I tried he never took me there. He broke his promise.

Mother was a bit better than father. She would often come home with new toys and food. "Mama is the best." she wasn't. Everytime mother was teaching me something, it always ends with me being hit, she just wanted me to learn and become a proper member of society that's what it is. Father and mother would sometimes get into arguments then mother would take her anger out on me. Throwing things and yelling at me, oh how I remember it so clearly.

My parents were unbelievably strict. Who am I to complain? Other children had it worse.

Being a child sucked. If I was an adult I would be able to do what I wanted, eat what I want, buy everything I want and finally be free. More than anything I wanted to grow up quickly so I could get out of here.

That day I decided to let this version of myself die.

Ever since then all I knew was just school work. Every single day spent devoted on studying and housework. No more time to play... I wasn't able to enjoy my youth.

Sayoko was a child that loved playing with her toys and loved her parents so much. Her name means  evening child. A little girl that had a dream of becoming one of the best novelists. Such a hardworking kid. Someone who wanted to see more of the world. A sweet ray of sunshine. How could I kill such a girl?

One evening Sayoko came back to haunt me.
"Hello Miss! How do you do?" at first I thought I was hallucinating. Did I work too much? What's happening? I eventually grew fond of this child, it was hard to believe I was this kind of person back then.

"Since we have the same name. One of us has to have a new nickname."
"I'm fine with whatever nickname you give me. I don't really care."
"Don't be so grumpy! Alrighty you shall now be... hmm.... Miss Yoko!"

I wanted her to get out of my life as soon as possible. I did everything she asked me to. "Please just leave me alone." now look I'm saying the exact opposite of that.

Please forgive me for everything I have done.
"I thought I was supposed to be the one taking away your regrets. I just realized that you were the one taking mine."

She just stood there looking at me smiling. How can she be like this? At this time? "You're not scared to disappear?" I asked her wipping away my tears. In which she answered "I would never disappear. I'll be a part of you."

"Children really are stran

[LTTR stopped writing after this because of personal reasons. This is where the ghost of the evening child ends... It never had a proper closure. I'm a bit disappointed, with a bit more practice this could've turned out to be a really good book.]

Thank you for reading Ghost of the Evening Child.