A/N: PLEASE be careful with this chapter. A major theme, especially for the latter part, is around weight and body insecurities. Mr Cheese's thoughts are disordered, I do not condone them or think that way. The BMI is a bad way to measure health, please don't take it seriously. If you have a similar weight or BMI to Mr Cheese here, please don't let this make you more insecure. Your body is not ugly. Like I said, Mr Cheese's thoughts and perceptions are disordered. I do not agree with how he thinks about himself or his body. Being overweight does not make your body bad.
Other than that, there are also brief mentions of self-harm. There is also a mention of Mr Cheese's childhood going through speech therapy. I do not have personal experience with this so if my portrayal was offensive I apologize, it's only brief and I felt it helped explain some of his actions and was an interesting idea.
"Real men don't need other people
And real men suck it in
Real man don't flinch or bleed in public
Oh, I think I'm a real man"
-Mitski
It was the morning after when Mr Cheese really processed what he had done.
He woke up, yawning. He listened to the morning birds for a bit, until he felt a pain on his arm and remembered what he'd done. He rolled up his sleeve, bringing his fingers over his new wounds. He shouldn't have done that.
Mr Cheese had briefly rinsed his cuts and put on a long sleeve shirt, but he hadn't cleaned them. He only wanted to make sure no one found out.
Fuck, TheGentleman. He would be so hurt if he knew, and he'd probably be angry if he found out Mr Cheese used his razor. He couldn't know.
Mr Cheese told himself to never do that again. Forget it ever happened.
Gazing at the scars on his arm, he knew he could no longer deny it. He needed counseling.
Mr Cheese slipped out of bed again and started towards the bathroom, mulling over if he should seek therapy.
He washed his hands, staring at his reflection in the mirror.
Why would TheGentleman find someone as ugly and fat as you attractive?
Mr Cheese sighed. He would have to at least try it. He couldn't keep living like this, and telling his friends wasn't an option.
He went back to his room and was surprised to see TheGentleman sitting up in bed.
"There you are!" His partner greeted. "It's rare to wake up with you not there."
"I know," Mr Cheese yawned, getting back into bed once again. He snuggled close to TheGentleman.
"Darling, I have to get up soon," TheGentleman said quietly, a slight smile on his face.
"And?" Mr Cheese nuzzled, the blanket wrapped all around him, his thoughts temporarily clear.
TheGentleman chuckled and laid with him for a minute more. After that blissful moment, he got out of bed, the movement of the blankets causing them to slide off Mr Cheese.
Mr Cheese whined and grasped at TheGentleman. When he wasn't there, Mr Cheese grabbed at the blankets and put them around himself once again. He closed his eyes and tried to once again shut out the world, but he didn't feel as comfortable as before.
"Goodbye," TheGentleman sighed, coming over and giving Mr Cheese a quick kiss on the small part of his forehead that was exposed.
"Are you sure you can't stay home?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Work is important."
YOU ARE READING
Sunshine (a Gentleman x Mr Cheese book)
FanfictionI've wanted to write a slow, angsty fic which explores Mr Cheese slowly falling into depression for a long time, and now here it is. This is Gentlecheese, but I hope to make it realistic and varied, and so his relationship with other characters will...
