My last breath

Chapter 1 Mika & Sebstian

  I looked at myself as the replica of me is on the other side of the glass we call a mirror. As I continue to look, negative emotions filled me. My vision blurred. The feeling I feel about myself is something that I can't describe. If I could just cut off the parts I didn't like I would.

  I grabbed my bag and left for school. As I walked to my bus stop I wondered.. the thing so called living. What's the point of it when one day in some point of time we're all gonna die. I clenched my fist thinking about it. I wanted to scream. Porhaps.. punch someone if you know you know.

"Oh hey Kim." I froze up as I heard my name roll off her tongue. I slowly and hesitantly looked behind me to see Mika. A girl who made me question my sexuality. "Oh.. hey Mika." I said almost in a whisper.

I made out the sound of the wind flowing through the leaves as I listened to Mika's footsteps hitting the cold concrete ground as she came closer to me. Mika gently lifted my chin up to look at her. This feeling is weird. It makes my stomach twist and turn. I could feel my face heating up.

I admire all her facial features. Her lips look soft and a perfect shade of pink. Her eyes are like these beautiful honey color. There was a tint of blush on her cheeks. Her glasses makes her even more beautiful. Her soft wavy like black hair tied back in a messy bun with two hair strands framed her diamond face shape perfectly tops it off.

She came closer.. and closer... and closer. RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. "Ughhhh why do all good things happen in dreams." 6:20am

I grabbed a grey sweater Mika gave to me and put on a black skirt with some dirty old converse. Grabbed my hair ties and did two miny pigtails with the rest of my hair down. I went to look at myself in the mirror and...

I wanted to cut the bitch all up. Guilt filled my body.. why do I look like this? Who would want a girl with curly brown hair With dark brown eyes? The chubby cheeks adds on. I just.. why can't I be perfect like Mika? She has a perfect body... while I can't even grow an inch.. on top of that I'm chubby.. 110 pounds and 4'11 is not a good match especially for a 15 year old.

I scoffed and snatched my bag from it's hanger and left. To make time go by faster I grabbed my airpods and listen to some music. I felt empty. Lonely in a way. I was craving her touch. I heard the gas from the bus as it stopped right in front of me. The doors slowly opened allowing me to walk in.

I sat in the 5th to last row on the right. I brought my legs up to my chest as I stared at my window. I slowly closed my eyes then all of a sudden I felt a weight shift on my seat. I jumped a lil and turned to see who it was. He's cute..

He had a middle part with light brown hair. Hazel eyes. Black glasses. Pinkish lips and a sharp jawline. He looked around 5'10. He smelt nice too. He smelt like vanilla. He looked like a softie. That makes him in my eyes cuter.

"Hey, is it okay if I sit here?" His voice was smooth and soft with a Hispanic accent. It made my heart flutter.

"S-sure." I said quietly. He smiled at me. "Thank you." As you can tell I'm not much of a talker. In fact, it gives me a lot of anxiety. If I just mess up on one word then I will lock myself up in my room until everyone forgets about it.

"Ahem." The guy sitting next to me cleared his throat. "I'm Sebastian. I'm sorta new." "I'm Kimberly but Kim for short." I wanted to get to know him a bit tho. I was hesitant but I wanted to ask. " I can tell you have an accent. Where are you from?" "I'm Columbian and Thai." "Oh I'm from Cuba." "That's cool, do you mind showing me the where the principle office is? When we get there of course!" My face started heating up again. He's so awkward it's cute. I nodded.

"Hey Kim!" Mika said. "Who's this man that's sitting next to you?" An irk mark appeared on her forehead. By the tone of her voice she seemed pissed.

"The name Sebastian? I'm just her friend." Mika nodded. "Mm okay." She stormed away to go sit with her other friends.

"I'm sorry. She's not usually like that.." I uttered.  Sebastian took a glance at me. He put his warm hand on my head and patted it. I look up to be noticing a warm smile on his face. A smile that gave me comfort. A smile that filled my heart with warmth. He's perfect. Even to be just looking at him makes me feel shy.

"It's okay Kim. No need to apologize. It's not your fault. I understand, it may feel like it but, I promise you it's not gonna effect your future. Things happen for a reason." Sebastian spoked.

He wrapped one arm around me. The smell of vanilla got stronger and I'm much warmer. This man gives me comfort. I feel safe in his arms. His voice is so soothing I could just fall asleep to it.

It's been 20 minutes. I decided to rest my eyes for a bit but, I overheard Mika and her friends talking.

"MIKA! Isn't that the girl you like!? That dude has his arm around her! What are you gonna do about it!?" Her friend said bluntly.

"I'm not gonna do anything.. Kim is not mine.."Mika mumbled. "It's her life.. she can date whoever she wants.. he can have her. I was just bored and looking for someone to date." Mika snarled.

My heart broke. How can she say that..? Those hugs. Those moments we shared were just nothing to her!?

I put my head down and tried to keep it in but it was too hard. Those words actually really hurt.. I felt used. Warm tears started to roll down my face and more and more and more.. I loved her so much.

Is it just hard to love me? Is it not easy? Or is it because I just don't know how to love? I want someone to teach me..when my mom was here she would always say, "There's always someone to love out there no matter if your ugly or not, there'll aways be someone to love you. They'll always be that special person that will love you for just being you."

Where's my special person? I want someone to love me like in those Tv shows. What is love?....

Sebastian tapped my shoulder. "Hey we're here." "Oh.. okay." I whispered.

To arms wrapped around me then used his sleeve to wipe my tears. "You wanna talk about it privately?" He whispered to me.

"I- ye-" "GET THE HELL OFF OF MY BUS LOVE BIRDS! DO THAT AT SCHOOL!"

Sebastian grasped my hand. "On it sir!"

I giggled as I watched Sebastian get all pink when the bus driver said that.

Do I like him?