surrender to the sound

eunbyeol hadn't been in seoul for over a year, not since her church choir's last concert on christmas.

she had come to run an errand and found herself in a fairly positive mood so she had decided to take a walk before catching the train back. she skipped along in the fresh new snow, wearing a trench coat and her favorite pair of red mittens, a matching red scarf covering her neck and the long scar that marred it - a scar that haunted her but she was grateful for, nonetheless.

her fingers came up to brush against the scar unconsciously before she came to and dropped her hand awkwardly. she would never forget that day in the courtroom when she listed off her mother's sins before cutting herself, hoping to take her own voice away as punishment for everything she had done all for the sake of singing.

when she woke up in the hospital, she was relieved when she could still speak but thankfully it wasn't possible to sing anymore. the realization didn't make her as sad as she worried it would.

after her mother went to prison and her crimes were revealed, eunbyeol immediately withdrew from seoul university before they could kick her out. she sold all her medals and trophies and worked part time to get her own place and cut off contact with her university friends, her boyfriend, and everyone she knew from before.

but after a year of barely managing to pay rent and a day of working until her back ached, she stopped by a church to rest after a long day of labor. the choir was practicing when she came in, and she listened to them as she leaned back in the pews, her eyes closed, sweat dripping from exhaustion. but the angelic voices were anything but a comfort. their voices weren't synchronized, and their pitch was off. the director looked frazzled, like she was forced into this job and before eunbyeol knew it, she had stepped in, offering to help them perfect the song they were working on. it seemed that her love for singing had never left her, even if that bond was severed and tainted over the years by a competitive school, a demanding family, and the sharp knife in her own hands. after she was hired, she moved to an apartment nearby the church and found her new calling.

eunbyeol closed her eyes now as she remembered it all, letting out a long breath of relief into the frosty air. the wounds from the past were buried in her, the shape of a mother who didn't say goodbye still aching deep inside her, but on the outside she felt peaceful. like there was a path she was treading, slowly and steadily, with bumps in the road, but at least she was still going.

she turned and stared at her reflection in the window of a coffee shop, noticing the poster for hot chocolate. unable to resist, she stepped in, brushing the snow out of her hair and she ordered a hot chocolate. she sat down by the window, and as soon as her gaze flitted across the walls of the shop, her eyes focused on one particular poster.

it was a poster for an upcoming concert on december 27, 2028 for primadonna rona bae. she would be performing in seoul in two weeks, at the simwoon arts center. rona looked beautiful on the poster, hair swept up into a bun, wearing a sleeveless black dress, with the smile of someone who had followed her dreams and lived the fulfilling and famous life she deserved after all of the controversy and tragedies she had been through. the public knew it very well as seojin had done everything she could to ruin rona's name and when seojin's scandal came out, the same public that ripped her apart had nothing but sympathy for rona. her career had soared once she started touring, and soon it was hard to go anywhere without hearing her name.

eunbyeol didn't flinch anymore when she heard rona's name, but she would still remember all of the curses she had spoken to rona, telling her she'd never make it, that she was too poor to be able to sing in a concert hall, that she should have never started singing at all. the look of horror and pain on rona's face as she slashed her shoulders and pushed her down the stairs that night would haunt her forever. but these memories were welcome. back then, she had wanted to forget everything. now it was remembering that was her salvation. eunbyeol looked at the poster now, a small smile on her face, not a sad or regretful smile, but a relieved one.