Is There Somewhere?

Is There Somewhere? - Prologue

Is There Somewhere?

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What is love?

For all my life I tried to decode what this term has meant. One word, four letters; a simple word but yet it rules the world. We may not know what love is, but yet we know what love isn't. Love anti-thesis is, and always be- hate. Therefore, what is love? I never realized the meaning, even though I use to say it to the boy who broke my heart, I never meant it. I never allowed the word to fulfill it's true potential.

But one day, I realized that I figured it out.

Love is a complex feeling; it messes your emotions. Love is hate, as jealousy is love and hate at the same time. Love is dealing with someone just because you know that they are worth all the troubles they send your way. Everyday from the moment when we are born we are taught the feeling of love through our mothers, as we grow we search for that feeling of comfort and safety because as humans we expect too much even though deep down inside we know that we will receive much less than what we wanted. We walk blindly around our city searching for the one, it's the thought that you may not realize you thought about a lot, but it is always the thought swirling around your head. Love is beatifically alluring, it send chills down our spines, blood to rush to our cheeks with a simple "Hello". Love is the Sunday afternoons after a whole night of Saturday night lust.

So now tell me, what is love to you? How do you know if what you feel is love? Here's my answer to that. You don't. You don't know if you love the boy next door, the boy on the football team, or the boy that is silent at the back of the class. Love hits you at the worst time periods of your life, but then those moments will turn into the best.

Love is the paradise we all long to find, maybe that is the reason I've always been so infatuated with the feeling. Maybe that is the reason I always tried to find the one by attaching my lips to theirs too many times, feeling the bit of warmth that erupted in my long lost cold heart. Then they left, leaving my heart shattered, looking for a momentary lapse to fill the hole they left , when that significant person walked out of my life.

I'm a bit of a challenge to have, I'm a hurricane, I'm the violence in the pouring rain, and I'm the sense of adventure in a one night stand but, it all clicks, together in one. I've come to the point where I realized where all the people I thought I had a chance with, I was too complex for them. So complex I could juxtapose the diverse feeling of love. That's why I didn't go anywhere with them.

I don't have many questions anymore regarding love, I still long for it, I still crave it, but now it's different, I understand it.

Here is my ultimate question I ask myself every night before my thoughts drift away: If all my recent intimate relationship didn't go anywhere, is there somewhere they could go?