At that moment the jester uttered those words I felt myself begin to plummet uncontrollably down into a deep dark abyss. Then without hesitation I slam onto a path of dirt. As I lift my head from the soft buy rough dirt my eyes begin to focus on what is ahead of me. I know this scene and I'm not going to see it play through again. And before I could stand to leave a house appears infront of me. It's simple style and small structure should bring peace but for me it's only guilt it provides. Before I turn to walk another direction the house is set ablaze and all I hear is the cries. The cries of joy as that woman that oh so entrancing woman looks out the window at me. A nostalgic yet piercing feeling stabs through my chest and then suddenly I awake on the roof of a tall foreboding apartment complex in the center of town. The height of this apartment complex is monstrous yet when compared to everything else it seems almost normal. I feel myself slipping yet I do not grab hold of anything. I think I deserve this. This must be the consequences of atrocities committed long ago yet so present in my mind or perhaps its just dumb luck that my own body and mind is doing the devil's job of punishing me. I'm ready to accept it.I think this is right.Suddenly I hear that slither of the jester I turn to see him standing there with a foot long grin "to think you wander so long to just fall back into that very abyss you crawled out of. You fear the retribution of blood guilt yet to believe your the only one left. So tragic it's comical. Your sense of direction is as confusing as the state of freedom." I respond with clear annoyance in my tone "what good is freedom when all I do leads me back here... I can't stop looking at the abyss...do the choices I make matter?" The jester responds formally "that is for you to decide. Is freedom the ability to choose between options even if all options lead to the same outcome or is freedom reliant on the results differing for it to be true freedom. Remember all demons were angels once. So it'd be best if you were to tread lightly on that edge hahaha" I respond as I walk towards the exit abandoning the easy fall to a harsher climb down "I just want to accept everything and move on but none of those things are options for me and they never will be so why...why can't I just die right. Do I not deserve it." "Perhaps."The jester chokes out "or maybe you still have something to do. Something that scares you. Tell me Mr bolinski...what is it you fear hmmm is it the soft metallic bars you hold onto to guide you down this dark stair case or is it the smell of fresh water dripping of so slowly from that leak in the ceiling. What is it you fear?" As we approach the lobby of this fancy hotel I am posed with two exits and just then the jester speaks with a slight caution to his voice" it'd be wise to truly think about what you fear. This is one of the few choices that will set in motion the unknown future. What do you fear." I tremble for but a moment before I open the door leading to the quiet street filled with nothing but dim traffic lights and buzzing neon signs" I fear that death has become a friend of mine and won't let me pass." The jester begins to giggle as he violently contorts into an old school mustang an almost extinct era in the minds of most "Well then I suppose you now have a destination in mind hahahaha"
I climb in to the passenger seat as we begin to drive away from the city and slowly but surely head for what I believe to be the source. A cautious yet comforting light shines in our direction. So bright that I don't even notice it slowly fade away as the car is once again consumed by darkness. I feel that jester knows this and this thought is quickly confirmed when he says with a slight giggle" this road will continue to darken the closer we get to the ending, comical that the path your on could be darker than that space of yours." I light a cigarette as to show some acknowledgement of his statement. The sun is still high but I can see nothing but dark forestry hugging this ruined path we shakily drive on.
YOU ARE READING
Questionable Insanity
Детектив / ТриллерA man who exists in a time beyond his own must come to grips with his personal trauma of a worldwide event and the result of that event. Mr bolinski is man who is not known on a personal level to many, he has always been a man who has sulked around...
