Study Buddies

Part 1

It is another typical sunny afternoon and class has ended. I usually go home after school is over, but instead, I'm walking to the library. Ryan, my best friend since the fourth grade, asked me if we should go study for our math test there. I said yes, of course, but I can't help but find it a little strange why he wants to go to the library all of the sudden. We normally go to my house and study. And by study, I mean a fifteen-minute skim through of our notes then waste our entire day playing video games. Maybe he finally realizes that actually studying can help him pass the test? Either way, I'm not going to complain about having a quiet alone time with Ryan. My heart skips a beat when saying that. Spending time with him shouldn't be any more special than the hangouts we spent with each other. So why does this feel different?

Thinking about the last time he was in my room, we were playing video games and cracking jokes as usual. I have always admired Ryan's confidence and always have the knack to befriend anyone in school. But he makes sure that I was his only best friend. We would always come up with inside jokes only the two of us will understand. Sometimes our jokes can be a bit crude, but it was just only us to laugh about ourselves. Anyway, one of his jokes was about Mikayla, who I despise and I know she despises me because there is never a day that goes by when she is not antagonizing me. Whether it is her being condescending toward me, or always trying to compete with me with every academic in whatever class we are in. Ryan joked about her having a hard crush on me. I shoved him roughly when he said that and we started wrestling. We stopped when he was on top of me. I couldn't tell if time was slowing down or it was fast-forwarding, but at that moment, my face turned red, my breathing quickens, and my body quivered from both excitement and worry. And if my mind was not playing tricks on me; I could have sworn Ryan was leaning closer to me.

The main turndown from this was that I was getting too "excited" and Ryan noticed it. Though, he did not get off of me. I was pretty confident that he was leaning closer. Like something was possessing him and his body was moving on its own. And I lay there with anticipation. But what couldn't be more embarrassing was my dad walking in and seeing us. I remember Ryan walking out so fast I couldn't get the chance to say anything to him. And I sat there on the floor trying to hold my tears after my dad left my room looking ashamed almost. That was nearly two weeks ago and we haven't talked about it since, nor have I asked Ryan to come over.

I can feel the tension in my chest as if my heart is a stress ball, and my anxiousness is what squeezing it. The tightness in my stomach is enough to make me feel squeamish. I keep repeating the same questions while walking up the stairs to the library. Why here? Of all places? I thought Ryan always hated the library because of how quiet and stiff-like the place is. He probably knows that you like- I stop my thoughts right there, not wanting to think any further. Of course, he doesn't think that! I've been keeping it subtle. Well tried.

"Ha, sure," I say under my breath. "That's what you think. He probably picked a public place to study, so things don't get awkward at home again."

Though, I don't know how things couldn't get more awkward now that we're going somewhere quiet and there are just the two of us.

I get myself fluster just the thought of us being alone. Damn it! Why did I say yes to him if I knew I was going to be this way? I encourage myself that what's done is done and finally reach the library door. Opening it, the first person I encounter is Ms. Gloria, the librarian, sitting at the circulation desk. Her warm smile is almost comforting and I feel less worried now. Especially, since I see only a handful of students in the library. I smile back.

"Good afternoon, Daniel." She greets with a soft tone.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Gloria," I say back.