Fighting For Eachother

gone wrong

Last night beating ended up bad. I mean of course. They were late on their meeting. Cause of me. Stupid stupid STUPID DUMB ME!

I hate myself. I hate myself so much. Hate hate hate! God if only i was dead already.

Another thing I can't get. They abused me so many times and so painful that I'm wondering - God, why am I not dead

Tears came down my face. I couldn't move any muscle. So I .... falled. Purposely.
And that was bad idea cuz my body is hurting much more now. Good job Anastasia. Good job!!

I looked at left where my mirror is and my one eye is purple / green / bloodly coloured. No wonder I can barely keep it open.

I somehow managed to sit and then I rolled up my shirt sleeves and my  lower part of the pajamas .

It's not that bad..

Small part of my arm is purple and blue. My next arm has blood on fingers and palm but that's because of me, I did that. My elbows are bloody.

My leg has some parts that are purple and blue.
My arms and legs have also 'old' scars and what not. They don't just go away like boom.

But what is worrying me is my stomach and my back right now.

Do I even want to see it?

I took a deep breath and removed my shirt. I looked at my stomach and it had big circle whit purple blue and green. Also some 'old' scars and circles.

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that my neck and close to my ear is bloody and green.

I stood up - barely - and turned my back to my mirror, then I turned my head to mirror,to see my back..

I almost gasped.

My shoulder blade is almost all purple and bloody. My sacrum is terribly damaged.

Then I saw that my shoulders are also purplish and greenish . I looked down and my knees from behind were also half purple .

I closed my eyes. I didn't want to look at it anymore. I couldn't. But this isn't even the worse what I get..

I reached my phone and saw that is 11:58am. My parents are at work. They didn't woked me up for school- wait I don't even know what day it is.

It is school day. Awesome. Wednesday. Hopefully my private teacher won't come today. My parents are too afraid that I will tell her about beating if she saw me like this. 

I forced myself to go to my bathroom and I'm putting cream for recovering of injury and what not. It helps.

I washed my bloody parts and took cared of it.

When I came back to room when I was done it was 1:04. Already. Where times go-

I came downstairs into kitchen but I remembered I shouldn't eat. My stomach already starved

I drinked water and pills for 'no pain'.

I sit down on couch which I'm barely at. I putted TV on beacuse it was too silent in this big ass house and I'm only at house at the point.

I started thinking what should I do. I don't know if I want to swim right now. My body hurts too much- but then again it may help me

I grabbed my phone and got upstairs into my room again. I got my swimsuit and everything I needed.

I groaned of how many times I need to go up and down stairs. I climbed downstairs and I sighed at the thought that I need to walk almost on the opposite side of the house now.

I did. I did.
But we have more stairs now..
I got downstairs and walked to the way indoor pool is. I unlocked doors and got in.

It was almost whole dark.

I got into water and got my phone close to me but not in the water- of course.

I played my Spotify playlist on my speaker and I looked up to doctors- that you don't need to bring your parents - in my area until I found one. It said they're working from 7am to 9pm. Okay.  I'll go when I'm finished calming myself.

I go to doctors when I'm like- really bad hurted , physically, beacuse I don't know how can I help myself alone. I never go to the same ones tho.

It's okay until I end up with only one doctor in my area that I hadn't been. Till then.. everythings okay. I guess. Yeah. Yeah it is.

I got notification on my phone and I looked at it. It's my ballet teacher.

FUCK!

DO I HAVE BALLET TODAY!

OH MY FUCKING GOD! SHE WILL REMOVE ME FROM- NO NO
i Will literally be dead.

Oh my- no no it's Thursday. I don't have ballet on Thursdays right!? Yeah. Okay.

Oh my god. I freaked up.

I looked at the message and she said that she expects me to stay longer tomorrow.

Oh God I have ballet tomorrow. I should probably go to doctor. Now.

****

"You need to leave your informations Miss."

"What do you mean? Like- like my personal.. informations? Phone, parents etc?" I asked woman who doesn't want to let me just go to doctor beacuse I need to give her my personal informations.

Like.. Before I didn't have too. Okay yes, my phone number and my name and that. But not my address or my parents phone numbers.

Oh! It's beacuse I told them I was 19. Am I that stupid!? Why did I told her that I'm 17 when she asked me! Omg I'm dumb!

"Yes. Your 17, you don't need parents go with you but you need to leave me your address, your parents phone numbers,your full name and last name, your allergies-"

"O-okay I get it! I get it! Um.... But do I need to ? I- I'm new here, and I won't stay at this town for long. It's only vacation — but I really need to see doctor. I need help. I hurt-"

She sighed and cut me off "Look.. Anastasia right?" I told her my name "I know you. We know you-"

What? H-

I let dry laugh at her joke but she didn't laugh "wha- what do you mean" I fake laugh and she came closer to me even though nobody's here right now

"Anastasia. We don't know your last name beacuse you never told any of your doctor's in this area but after you came to 3rd one and then left and never camed back, clinics warned us. Some thinks your joking with them but I think - are you in danger?" She asked

Guys this chapter is a little bit boring but oh well💀

Thank you for reading it!