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she apologized

i sat down and toya was the first to say anything. i was trying to hold in tears and anger. 

she said "i know you hate me (her voice starts cracking) but i love you so much and a year ago i dont understand why i reacted like that... (tears are falling down her face she sits next to me and i look away) jazmine i dont want you to think about you, because you are the person ive been thinking about everyday... i havent had the courage to speak to you .. i am still embarassed ever since that day i been praying to god for forgiveness and for you to forgive me... i am so sorry that i hurt you.. i will from today and always respect what you decide to do, i will never critisize you in any way .. jazmine please look at me (im crying legit tears atp i look at her..) she says please forgive me..? (she holds my hand)  

i try holding back the anger i had but i couldn't i stand up and scream "after a whole f*cking year you say all this.. you knew i loved you .. you knew i was scared to let anyone know... you were supposed to be there for me ... amars mom was my mom i felt betrayed..( i start crying and sit down) .. and i honestly i dont know what to do ... ever since that day i changed... i am not the same jazmine you knew ... i dont want to lie to you or dad, i have to get everything off my chest... i have been smoking weed ever since that day, weed is my happy place.. i forget everything and the pain... but toya i forgive you.. i really need you I AM F*CKING LOST!" i hug her and start crying and she says "its ok baby im here and i promise im not going to hurt you!" and she kisses my cheek. wipes my tears and i say "i missed you so f*cking much.." and she says "i missed you more it felt like my heart broke into a million pieces when you left.." 

my dad gets up and hugs me and says "im so proud of you .. i know this was alot but, you have grown so much. i love you." and i say "i love you and i promise i will change and come around more, and keep in touch more." 

he says "me and toya will not force you to do anything but if you want to come back to the house and stay you can ... for however much time you need.." i say "yea im down .." so we all walk to my parents house and my dad says "jazz get some rest ok we will talk more in the morning" they both hug me. after the hug i get my bag , and i go to my room and lock it ( forgot to say mario gave me a few blunts and a lighter to keep sane) i sit on my bed .. i light my blunt and start smoking... i hear my parents still talking in the living room... and im thirsty and hungry so i go out to the kitchen. with the blunt in my hand. 

i take another puff in while going into the kitchen.. and they don't say anything.. and i ask "is there anything i can eat." i sit on the counter and i close my eyes and take another puff in.. and blow it out. my dad says "yea toya just made food its on the stove..we are going to sleep and don't smok--" my phone starts ringing in the middle of his sentence... i just answer i dont know who it was i was too high to even check. some lady says "hello is this  perfectlaughs.. i say "um who askin? she says "oh im a manager in texas i manage a bunch of youtubers and your content qualifies for you to be part of a reality show about new and upcoming youtubers... would you be down? its all paid.. plane ticket, and housing..?

 it took me one second to answer...without hesitation i said ....