A Book About Suicidal Teen M4M (Redactedasmr Ocs)

My big bad wolf [chapter 1 #1]

I woke up

Fuck

I woke up

I slowly get up and begrudgingly go to my calendar and cross off another day.

5

5

5 attempts in the last week and Im still not dead yet, make it 6 actually

"it's may 7th? Holy shit" I say out loud like anyone cared. I look at the time, and the bright red alarm clock whined "6:45". I did a deep sigh and went to put on my school uniform. I stand in front of the mirror not see me back, I saw a women. I AM NOT a women.... I think at least. I looked down at my wrist as a put my shoes on, and smiled. I definitely deserved it, all of it. I garb my bag and head down stairs quietly to make sure I didn't wake up my parents, if I didn't won't able to go to school again. Not like anyone cared it just that- I prefer not to get a fucking black eye right before I walk out my front fucking door.

I sit in the back of the class on a chair with glue and pins on it, at a desk with the words "fag" "cut again emo" "fuck you" and the biggest word out of all of them written in the middle of my desk with big bold font in a blood colored pen "kill yourself". I sat down, pins stick me and my thighs and ass, looking at the desk as I hear the entire class laugh and yell slurs at me.

Kill yourself
Kill yourself
Kill yourself

I must have read every word on that desk at least a million times, it wouldn't be the first or the last time this has happened. As the teacher walks in the kids scramble to there seat and stop talking. finally, these kids are so fucking loud. The teacher look at my desk with a pitiful look in her eyes and helps me clean it up, and sending me to the nurse to get the pins out as well. I didn't go tho, I didn't need to and I didn't want anyone else to know. I could get the pins out my own ass. Instead, I went up to the roof tops to get these stupid pin out and to just watch the sunrise. They were gorgeous, they are literally one of the most beautiful things ever, in my opinion.
As I heard the roof door open and  I swung my head around to see who it was, a random goth kid. I mind my own fucking business and throw the handful of pins of the roof, hopefully they hit someone (specifically my brother but if it hit one of my bully's that would be alright to). I felt someone sit next to me and I tense up, I thought he was gonna hit me or scream at me like every other kid ever but he just sat there and look out at the sunrise, feet swinging of the edge,with his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, he looked cool but I wasn't gonna tell him that. I was too scared he would hurt me. But he didn't, we just sat up there together. No talking,no yelling, no screaming, no pushing each other of the roof, just pure bliss. This has never happened before, no one has ever willing not wanted to hurt me.after what felt like hours he took of his headphone and turned to me. "My name's kit, what's yours" he says turing back to the sunrise." I- um" no one has ever asked me the question before "it's uh-" do I feel him my preferred name, will he make fun of me "its-its uhhh Zero, Zero Chen.. its- uh nice to meet you kit". He tilted his had and cocked a smile at me "it's nice to meet you too zero". He laid down and I followed him, we sat there. We talked and laughed. There was no arguing, for the first time there was no arguing. We watch the sun start to set, than it hit me. I sat up and I looked at him. "Kit, what time is it" he looked at his phone for the first time in hours and look back at me , sitting up. "it's uh- 7:00,why?" He looked so confused and concerned, it made me feel bad. ".I'm late, I gotta go home. It's WAY past my curfew." I laughed trying not to sound utterly terrified, I've never been past my curfew. And i didn't wanna know what happened if I was, but I was about to find out.
"Ah shit mate, I'm sorry for keeping you so long. Need my to drive you home?" "Would you?"
"Ofc I would mate, it's my fault"
"Thank you man"
"No problem,love"

Love

He called me love

As we got down stairs and head into the school parking lot, we walked up to a motorcycle and he threw me a helmet.

"You drive a motorcycle?" I questioned. To be completely honest it was one of the coolest this I had seen. "Yeah, what are you? Sacred? You don't wanna go riding with this big bad wolf?" He say jokingly, Poking at my side with his elbow. I giggle a little, he was cute and funny." Shut up omg you're such a weirdo" I emphasize with an eye roll. " Alright mate, ready to going riding with this big bad wolf?" " Yeah sure whatever dork"

I wonder why he calls himself a wolf?

I walked in throw the backdoor but there was no use my parents were waiting for me in the kitchen.
"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN"
"at school...."
"FOR 12 HOURS?"
"I was- i- I was doing a project"
My mom hit me a cross my face and a ran upstairs. I got undressed and up in a hoodie with some shorts, exposing my scars. I put my headphone on and laid in bed with the lights off.
[Always forever by the Cults playing in Amazon music]