"Story title"

Intro

Hi , My name is Noellah

Ive been off and on trying to figure out my sexuality and who I want to be .

In 8th grade I was in the back seat of my mother's car while my sister was driving and my mother was in the passengers seat I remember crying and saying "you know nothing about me" and they kept asking

random questions likes "are you a stoner?" "Your not a virgin?" And my sister stopped for a few seconds and said "are you a lesbian?" I started crying harder and said no and looked out the window. My mom turned around and said "are you bisexual?" I said yes with my face wet from tears leading to my sweat shirt, I tried hiding my raw face in dance sweatshirt but I heard my mom giggle and I stopped for a second and she said to me "you came home and told me you liked a girl in third grade I have no problem." I was relieved , I felt like I no longer had to hide. But there was perks to that situation i couldn't have girls over much with the door closed when my mom knew my best friend was lesbian she suspected we were a thing . No lie I had the biggest crush on that girl.. and when I said biggest I mean BIGGEST . she was perfect head to toe , her eyes were bright hazel and she had light brown curly hair and could pull any girl she looked at. She didn't like me back though.. back to important things throughout the years I've said I'm a lesbian or bisexual or pansexual I can never really figure it out . I'm madly in love with girls but I've never dated a guy , I don't get nervous around guys though I'm down to anything not to sound like a whore because I fully respect my self.. but girls they make me so I don't even know how to explain the unbearable feeling, they make me nervous , have butterflies and I get excited yeah know? I have confidence with them.. but recently I think I have feelings for a boy I usually say guy but this guy is a boy he's younger then me way younger then he should be I know it's wrong for me a 17 year old girl to like this boy or maybe I don't ACTUALLY like him I just like the attention I get. He makes me happy , I could trust this boy with anything and the way he just talks to me I feel comfortable and safe..

But anyways I also struggle with this identity thing like one day I like to have my hair down curly full makeup and a dress with a flower head band but not always feel like a woman in a dress but some I do. I have days where I want to be a full stud for a month's on month's mostly in the fall and winter.

And this is my story about experiences with love and identity.

Enjoy?..