There I was, in the bathroom, hovering over the tub watching the blood drip down.
why was I doing this?
I continued to ask myself while cutting away at my arm.
Because I was a Monster
that's why
that's why I always hurt myself for the tinniest slip up.
Because I hurt others.
I was an idiot
Every time, ever since I was a kid.
I was selfish, rude, and a murderer.
I grab the knife again and pulled it up to my bloodied arm that was already covered in scars, some fresh, some old. Tears began forming around my eyes as I think of all the people I murdered in the past and who I couldn't save today.
*Swish*
Another cut went on my arm
then another, and another, and another, until it was fully covered in scars, old ones re-opened, blood all over the tiles and tub, shaky breathing filling the room.
until
*knock knock*
"Oi Iguro!"
Shinazugawa?
he pounded on the door again
"Are you in there, if so answer already! You're late to todays meeting!"
oh right, the meeting...
"O-oh right ya um, I'm coming real quick, you can leave!"
I say trying not to sound like I was crying, but my quivering voice was breaking through
"Whatever" he says, I could here his loud footsteps trailing down the hall to the door.
I quicky try to fix myself up, bandaging and cleaning, making sure none of the blood got on my haori. After finishing and hiding the knife with my newly bandaged arms I go to the pillar meeting, worried of how late I was.
It turns out, I want as late as I had imagined, as the master only just arrived as I got there, and didn't notice a thing.
I let out a shaky exhale of relief as I kneeled down.
After the pillar meeting
Sanemi pov
"hey, Shinazugawa, do think that Obanai has been acting weird?"
I turn around to see the normally bubbly, and happy pink and green haired girl nervously ask me about Iguro.
"No, I don't see anything different, why?" I respond genuinely worried about what she thought of the raven haired hashira.
"Its just, sure he is always distant and stuff but recently- well he just is acting more quiet and nervous! I mean sure he never want people to touch him but- I'm getting worried!"
She says, tears rolling down her face
"Dont worry, I'll talk to him" I respond not sure why
Kanroji starts to have a small and smile and thanks me in a whisper, sure I'm not that nice to people, but Iguro is one of the people I can tolerate, and Kanroji isnt wrong when she said he was different.
because to be honest, I did notice something wrong, he was rarely leaving his estate and never talks to me anymore, I dont know why but that bothers me, I mean, I did have a little crush on him when he first joined but, that went away a long time ago right? Theres no way, we're just REALLY good friends... right?
A thought of what I told Kanroji and went to the serpent pillar before he could leave into hiding again. He notices me and starts to speed up, I then grab his hand and pull him to a stop slightly causing him to fall back a little. He was always sorta weak because he was so small, but he always makes up for that with his harsh words, but now he seemed so distressed that he didnt even talk, he just immediately tried to pull away, I then tightened my grip and he closed his eyes in pain. I know he was fragile but, I wasn't being to hard, was I?
Because his body was so small his haori didnt exactly fit him well so even though it was hard, I could still see bandages on the arm I was grabbing. why was that? I don't think he went on any missions, no, I know he didnt go on any missions, no hashira has in about a week or so, so why were there fresh bandages on his arms?
He pulls away from me before I could fully uncover his arm.
"HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" I yelled to him as he ran away
Obanai pov
I was in my room, sitting on my futon as I think back to when my secret was almost exposed, I took my haori off and slowly raised my sleeves of my uniform wincing from the pain, but knowing I deserved it.
I looked at my scars and traced them with my fingers, thinking of all the horrible memories that made me do all this.
...
"Obanai?"
I heard my name from a familiar voice.
of course Sanemi was here.
I started feeling tears well up in my eyes, I then quickly moved my head down as fast as I looked up. I heard the door slam and lock as I felt his scarred arms hug me. he lifted to chin to look at him as I realize I wasn't wearing my mask, which caused me to cry even more, I started hyperventilating as he looked at all my scars and a knife close to me, he grabbed it still holding me in his arms and put it in his pocket.
"What the fuck are you doing to yourself?"
I heard him say, I tried to explain but all that came out was a huge mumbled mess mixed with heavy breaths, tears, and fear. My worst fear was happening, he was going to either tell everyone or baby me. I didnt need to be babied, I deserved this and he was going to stop it.
"Why?" He asked tears starting to form in his eyes
"I- I deserve it" My body starts to shake
he hugs me even tighter and he whispers in my ear something that I didnt know I needed to hear until now.
"no, I dont know what you think you did but you never, ever deserved this."
"why?" my body was still limp but shaking looking up at him begging for an answer.
"Because you did nothing wrong, and I love you Obanai..."
he leans in closer my eyes widening, not once did I ever think someone could like me.
I start to lean into him hugging him back while letting all my tears out, I nuzzled my face into his neck as he bent his head over to my back, I start to cry more and more, all of my tears and emotions were always balled up and were finally let out.
"I love you to" I barely get out while still crying and hugging him.
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this is the pose they were in (kinda)
I dont know who that artist is since I found it on google
