A "Small" Obsession - Inanimate Insanity AU

How does one confess to such a pretty girl?

     She's so pretty.

     My heart beats out of my chest every time I see her. My face develops into a bright shade of red every time she walks near me. My legs tremble whenever she looks at me. I stutter when talking to her. My entire body sweats when she acknowledges me.

     Yet I crave more.

     It's just a crush. No, more than that. I'm in love with her.

     I cleared my desk, ridding all the junk that buried the wood's surface. I gathered all my stationery materials, organizing them onto the table.

     It's about time I confessed.

     And what's cuter than a love letter? Nothing I know of!

     I put my pen against the paper, nothing. Why can't I write anything?

     I then felt the butterflies in my stomach go insane. I'm only writing a letter, why do I feel like this? I can't wait for her to read this. She opens my envelope and carefully examines the words I've placed on the paper. I want to watch her eyes widen as she gets to the confession part. I want to watch her face turn redder and redder with every word she reads.

     I want her to look back up at me when she's finished, looking lovingly into my eyes.

     I want her to smile. I want her to nervously confess the same feelings towards me.

     I want her.

     Now I know why I'm getting those butterflies, I can't get my mind off her! I looked back at my paper, still blank. 

     I sigh, realizing how hard this was going to be. 

     Maybe I should think before I try writing. What could I possibly write? A simple "I'm in love with you." won't do. I need to be passionate. I need to be able to win her heart with this letter. Maybe if I decorate it! Some cute stickers would be nice, right? Maybe if I write it in cursive it'll look neater. What if I made it red, the color of love! No, it must be her favorite color.

     What's her favorite color?

     I should know this! I'm her biggest fan! Not a fan, but an admirer! 

     What if I asked if we could have a sleepover, then I confess to her then! Maybe we'll kiss, or more...

     ...

     I need more than just a kiss from her.

     Stop being weird! She doesn't like that.

     Or does she?

     I need to refocus. How does one confess to such a pretty girl, especially one like her? I repeatedly click my pen, how does one even start a love letter?

     I know!

     I'll make multiple letters leading up to the confession, giving them to her one at a time!

     No, that's stupid. Damn it Lightbulb, just write a stupid letter already! You usually start a letter addressing the receiver, right?

     "Dear"

     ...

     Do I use her name? What if I said something like "beautiful"? No, that's too soon! she'll catch on too quickly! 

     "Dear you."

     Perfect.

     What if I made this first letter into a poem? I'm good at poetry!

     "You keep me awake at night,"

     "I want you near, in my sight."

     "You're sweet and smart, you're always right,"

     "Please don't fear me, I won't bite."

     Is that too creepy? Ugh! I'll never get this right! I crumple up the paper and toss it in the bin. Okay, let's try this again. 

     ...

     My mind is blank. I can't think.

     Okay, let's try something else instead! I'll just ask her if I can sleepover at her place. I grab my phone and open my messages. We haven't texted in a few days, let's change that.

     "can I sleep over tonite?"

     Now we wait. She isn't very known for responding quickly. I put my phone down. I toss myself onto the bed, my heart is pounding. What if she says no? What if she's busy?

     I need to stop overreacting, she'll say yes. She loves me! Who wouldn't love me? 

     My mind starts to wander, I wonder when I'll get a response. Maybe things will go great tonight! I'll confess, and she'll hold me, kiss me, touch me...

     I need her touch right now.

     I need her to touch me.

     I feel my face get redder and redder as I think about her hands caressing my body, the butterflies in my stomach start to soar around inside me. 

     Why am I so weird?

     I just want to date her, not fuck her! She isn't even into that type of stuff, she would never!

     Unless there's something I don't know about her.

     Stop it! You're such a weirdo Lightbulb! I can't help these thoughts, I can't control them! They come and go whenever they feel like it, and I can't stop them no matter how hard I try! But sometimes I don't disagree with these thoughts, I can't control myself sometimes.

     And sometimes I give in to thoughts like those.

     Why am I like this?

     Who cares, I love this! I love this feeling! I wish it could last forever. I need her right now!

     Am I a weirdo for liking her? Not just in general, but in the way I like her? Of course, there are times when it's just an innocent crush, but other times it's the exact opposite. I want her to do whatever she pleases with me, no matter how badly it may hurt me. As long as she's satisfied, then I'm satisfied.
     Sometimes, I just want to hold her hand and give her plenty of kisses on the cheek. Sometimes, I just want to call her cheesy names like "babe" and "sweetie". Sometimes, I just want to cuddle with her as we watch an old horror movie. Other times, I want her to kiss me roughly and make me gag on her tongue. Other times, I want her to squeeze my thighs and kiss my neck. Other times, I want her. Just her.

     ...Does that make me weird?

     No! These thoughts are normal, everybody has them!

     Right?

     Please respond to my message already, I can't take the anticipation! I want to text her again, but I don't want to seem annoying. All I can do is wait, and it's killing me.

     ...

     Please respond, Test Tube.