abide

chapter 9

yoshinori had to come back to his place eventually. facing a hard time, not being able to free himself from jihoon's arms, the boy finally managed to go out of the territory which equally could be called as his. he easily gained what he wanted with a few innocent looks, one lost golden ring which now embellished jihoon's finger, and attractive manners exuding pureness within the desired pleasures.

he was walking with jaehyuk arm in arm, he liked to keep his boys close to him, as long as he had them. without these five he would become a lost flower which grew from the crevice in the pavement, its whole life waiting for someone, whose sole would be merciful enough to end his senseless existence. they overcame every obstacle together, they found similar ones like them, gave them home. nevertheless, no matter how much yoshinori wanted to let them go, he simply couldn't. he was afraid to be left with all this burden alone which could with no trouble push him to the well so that he could drown. they built this wealth together, they ate on it, slept on it, and now they planned on putting an end to it together or not at all.

"I haven't shown anything to him, although I saw in his eyes, that he wanted to know."

yoshinori's eyes from a cloudless sky descended to look to his right. he smiled at the other encouragingly, trying to show that he admired every little action of his that proved loyalty and trust.

"they always want to know, but after so many years you learned your lesson." he patted him gently on the head, his hair bouncing lightly due to the touch. "but... was your last order successful?"

jaehyuk only nodded, deciding to stay reticent about it. yoshinori didn't push any pressure on him, still, he had to check one last thing. his palm sneakily from the bend of hyuk's hand reached to the inside pocket.

the gun was still there.

"bullets?"

"only one. for emergency, to..."

"to protect yedam and asahi. I know." once again yoshinori smiled his most sincere beam to the other, trying to convey that he understands, accepts, and is always there for the three of them.

before jaehyuk joined their forces as an arms deliverer, he had been working in an even more dangerous position – arms dealer. his decision to rebrand was reasonable – as the leader sent him an invitation he pledged safety, animosity, and money. the profit was much bigger than the one he was learned to receive, so under the fire of his former boss, his shrieks and commands to "come back here you turd you work for me!" the seventeen-year-old jaehyuk was rescued. the boy panting, his knees weak, his legs made him tumble right in front of yoshinori, who back then looked at him with sympathy in the eyes.

what he did, and is still doing currently, is illegal. carrying a gun everywhere you go, giving away the money in exchange for bullets, threatening finicky clients with barrels and teaching younger members how to switch off the safety was jaehyuk's everyday life, until the day he met asahi. after falling for each other, they already planned on cutting ties with this underground, but these were only sketches of how it would be if they ran away. everything made a one-eighty when they found yedam and learned how harmful this world could be for their dear boy. it was a decision occupied by many sacrifices but they would never let yedam live in a brothel, doing things that could utterly wither off his inward beauty. they bought him out, becoming his official owners, although this name would boil jaehyuk's blood and make asahi livid. they loved yedam, and yedam gradually found himself brave enough to reciprocate these feelings, they were each other's everything, not owners, belongings, possessions. from the day of purchase, they would stay up late, talking and listening to one another.

yedam would confess that he always dreamed of seeing the beach in Busan, he wished to touch the sprinkles of sand, let them annoy him for getting in his pants, sticking to his skin after he got soaked with salty water. asahi, his eyes full of stars as he gazed at the ceiling, his eyes drawn by the moonlight reflecting inside their collective room, would talk very quietly about his hometown, Osaka. He would gulp as he remembered all the scrumptious dishes his mom prepared for him after he got back from school, drained and disappointed. he liked to reminisce about the time he spent on the playground, the time spent strolling around in the park, chasing after ducks, scaring them away and laughing at the sound they made. his dream was to see it again, check if the seesaw was still there, waiting for the lonesome boy to come back. jaehyuk was always there, in the middle. yedam on his left, head placed comfortably on his arm, the younger's boy hand playing with his silver dog tag. asahi on his right, jaehyuk's arm securely wrapped around his small waist.

jaehyuk was there to fulfil their dreams for he had none. he had nowhere to come back, no one to see again, he had never truly missed anyone, and there was no destination he wanted to go to in particular. he wanted to be where these two were.

they were his destination, his someone to see, again and again, the ones who he would miss if they were gone.

yoshinori once again shoved his hand in jaehyuk's bent elbow, their walk towards the place they tried to make home continued. yet their minds were long gone – jaehyuk's one occupied with thoughts about how to meet his loved ones' expectations, yoshinori's had a particular someone inside, knowing that it's the high time to check if he was fully fine, as fine as he left him yesterday evening after making sure he ate at least one bowl of rice for dinner.

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