Hear Me Now

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Hear Me Now (A Group Story)

Chapter 1- My World

By penguin014

I was walking down that narrow winding road, back to my shabby rundown apartment. I'm still trying to get use to living this way. I used to be rich, I used to get any girl I want, I could also do anything I want, I was my own boss. Now, well now I live in a rundown apartment on the wrong side of town.I have to work for someone in an economic class lower than me, and now the only girls I can get are the ones that I have to pay for. I hate my life, the only reason I'm living like this is because of my parents. I was emancipated at the age of 15, just because of them being drunk 24/7. They were abusive I was hit all the time, but then teachers started to notice the scars and bruises. So did my girlfriend, it didn't help that her dad was a cop. So as soon as she ran and told them, I was taken away. I didn't care at first, but I hear people getting shot, and fighting over drugs. Seeing this has made me give up on god. I don't believe he really exists anymore, its that or he just doesn't care about me anymore. I look around and see homeless people everywhere, children, women, men. What kind of person would want this for something that they created. I try to think about why I'm still alive, why I want to be alive. Truth is I don't. My life is tuning into ashes. It's gray and can't be turned around. I can't pretend anymore. That I care, about myself, others, and more importantly god. I've been searching for some kind of help, but it seems that no one cares about me, or anyone else. I have no where to go, and my homes just some crappy apartment. I stopped thinking and kept walking to my apartment. It was about then when the flashback came.

I was 5 and it was a quiet June afternoon. My parents came home drunk, like always, that night. They've never been mean drunks but something sparked in them that night. I was sitting on the green leather couch watching Bugs Bunny. I heard the door slam open and looked up to see them stumble awkwardly through the front door.

"Whatssss youu doin still up little boy?" My father slurred drunkenly. He stared at me blankly with glazed over blue eyes. I just stared back like I so often do. Then I saw him walk over to me.

"Anssswer me!" He screamed as I felt something hard and flat hit my face. I flew back into my seat, shock running up and down my entire body. I didn't know what to do he has never acted this way. I could feel my eyes get warm and moist with tears. Whenever I cried my dad told me to suck it up and act like a man, so that's what I did. I held back those tears that were threatening to enter my eyes, and acted like a big boy...even when the beating got worse. It got to a point where there wasn't an inch on my body that wasn't scared or bruised. I eventually found release from the pain in cutting. I was a jock don't get me wrong but I did cut. I tried mostly doing it on my hands, those were easy to explain. 'I accidently cut my hand in woodshop,' 'I slit my hand while cutting carrots,'. There are numerous of reasons that I could come up with, but then she came along and screwed everything up. Amanda, yes Amanda the golden haired brown eyed beauty. She knew what was going on maybe because she was going though it too? I don't know she would never tell me.

I remember her like it was just yesterday. It was my first day of 9th grade, and she was the only senior to actually talk to me. The first thing I thought was, how mesmerizing her sapphire blue eyes were. It was like diving into the deepest part of the sea, dark and beautiful. So we kept on talking and soon became friends, but the beatings got worse. It was about my third week of school, when I came covered in deep blue and black bruises all over my body. That was something I couldn't explain. So I used the over played excuse, 'I fell'. I would say that but still see the doubt in their eyes, they knew I was lying. No one ever had the courage to really see what was going on though. Who would care anyways? I mean yeah I was rich, hot, and all together nice. None of that matters though when your in high school. Every action of any of the student body is always selfish. Teenagers are selfish, besides Amanda. She was my savior, she was the one who took the pain away...she was my angel. I leaned my head down on my desk that day, to help me with my headache. It was a few minutes later when I felt a light hand touch me on my shoulder.

"Keegan," I heard a soft voice whisper. I lifted up my head and saw that blue eyed beauty.

"Are you okay?" She asked in that voice that was as sweet as chocolate. It made me want to melt inside.

"I'm fine." I said denying the truth. I wasn't though, at all. I was beaten with a baseball bat last night, and there is pain searing though every inch of my body. I couldn't tell though, I knew she was suspicious but she couldn't do if she didn't know anything. That was the day our secret relationship started. Yes, we kept it a secret, we didn't want anyone judging us.

Things slowly started turning from bad to worse. As I came to school with more bruises and scars, the teachers and Amanda started getting more suspicious. It got to a point were I couldn't explain all the crisscrossed scars covering my hands. People started to look at me differently, and I didn't like it. So I stopped cutting, and started to ease my pain a different way. Yes I did bugger sugar, better known as cocaine. Every snort made my troubles go away. For a while that is. Soon I started to have a tolerance for it, so I had to do more and more each time. Then it was around my 15th birthday when my parents started to cut me. For some stupid reason I still went to school, and that day Amanda got the truth out of me. I told her about the cuts, and the beating, and the drugs. As I cried on her shoulder, I begged her not to tell. So that afternoon instead of going home I was called up to the office, and I was told I was being taken into protective custody, I saw Amanda, and she had a sad guilty look on that flawless face of hers. I refused to stare at her after that, I couldn't I was humiliated. Plus she broke my trust, she promised not to tell. So that was the last time I talked to her, as I was put into that police car and driven to my temporary foster home, I saw her crying but I just looked away.

Those weeks seem like a blur, all I remember is my life going to hell. I remember standing in that court room in front of the judge. He looked at me sadly, and granted me emancipation. I remember getting back into that police car and being driven to the wrong side of town. I saw woman begging for money on the street corner half naked. I saw crack dealers giving drugs to people just to be able to pay for their next meal. I saw homeless people begging for at least a penny, so that they could survive. I feel bed about feeling sorry for myself, most of these people are just trying to support their family, and this is the only way. As we stopped, I looked out the window at my new home. It looked like it would fall down at any moment. It was beaten and run down, with graffiti everywhere. There were gangs hanging out by the rundown park across the street. It was honest to death scary. I felt like I was going to get shot at any moment, but I got used to it.

It was about then when I came out of my thoughts from the past. I saw this girl sitting on the edge of the street, with nothing but torn clothes, and a small little backpack, and a change cup. I walked over to her and saw her look up. I was shocked by her beauty. She has chocolate brown waves of hair, and bright jade green eyes. All she did was give me a blank look, and I just kept staring into those mesmerizing eyes. They held a sea of secrets and lies, for me to discover. Its been 5 years since I've had to sort through lies, but I'm ready for it.