Love isn't always enough-one shot

One Shot

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She was staring in the mirror for the hundredth time tonight. The reflection made her flinch a bit because what she saw was much more than she had ever imagined. She could even allow herself to say she's gorgeous. The years gave her what she needed: confidence, power, and most importantly, self-love. She had learned how to love herself and how to fight only for her dreams. Was it easy? Far from it, but she succeeded even if that meant leaving everything behind. Her family, her friends, her life in Turkey, him.

She learned to suppress the urge of going back and look for him. After all, that was the major reason for her departure, wasn't it? He told her to leave his life, and she did. She returned to Bursa with her aunts but that distance wasn't enough for her, she needed to be far, far away in order to respect his decision.

As weeks turned into months of waiting, her hope became smaller and smaller. Of course, she knew about him, she always asked Selin and the answer was always the same.

'He is killing himself with work. He's back to the old Bora, just that this version is more grumpy, more workaholic, more hurt.'

And even if her heart was screaming to go to him, to make him see that life is worth living, she knew she couldn't. She was the reason for his change the first time. She made him believe in love again, as he confessed to her once. But she was the reason for his relapse too, she hurt him and he would never forgive her lies. So after almost one year, when she finally graduated from university, she decided to leave.

Her aunts made even the impossible to change her mind, Selin and Ali too, but she knew she had to go. It was needed so she could go on with her life, fulfill her dreams and become what she wanted. Bursa was too small for what she dreamed of, that's why she left to Istanbul for university in the first place, but that became a minefield. She couldn't go to that city and take the risk to pop into him. Any city from Turkey was too much of a risk for her to take.

She needed to distance herself as much as she could, so she could breathe again. And she knew that even if she went to another planet, the distance wouldn't be enough. Her heart would always remain in Istanbul, no matter where her body was. But she left, to the other part of the Earth.

Living in the USA made her so much good. She struggled at first but things turned out pretty well. Finding a job at one big company in Canada helped a lot with accommodation and she was doing what she loved, writing. Of course, she took some English courses and started with small articles, but writing was writing in every language. Her words and her inspiration didn't leave her for one second and she succeeded in her job.

So, when she was called by a publishing house from Turkey after she sent them her work, it felt like she just made it to heaven. She wrote her story, the curse, growing up without parents, and all she had been through all her life. The pain, the happiness, the sadness, the love. She wrote about him, and a part of her always hoped that he would read it and he would look for her. That he would move earth and sea to find her, to bring her back, to say that he forgave her.

But as expected, that didn't happen. That's how she lost her hope and suppressed her feelings, learning how to live her life in the best way she could, without him. And she managed to do that too. Now, she's a well-known writer in Turkey. Her first work became a best-seller and people asked for more of her writings so she did what she knew best. Put her feelings onto paper in a second work, then a third, all of them catching people's eye and giving her what she dreamed of. Making her immortal, because when she would be gone from this life, her novels would be there, telling her stories and bringing her closer to people's hearts.

Now she was back, and of course, she had been to Turkey all these years, to visit her family, to meet with her readers. But the visits were always short and carefully planned so she won't stumble upon the wrong people. Or him, especially him.