Is It Bad That I Want You?

Part 1

Everything was quiet for a moment. I was standing alone in a dark space. I looked down at my feet and saw no ground, just that same void that was surrounding me.

I couldn't move. No matter how much I tried. I was paralysed so I panicked. My voice was stuck in my throat and my lips were sealed shut. Then, I saw her.

Fifteen-year-old Vi was in front of me, gazing at me with disappointment and disgust.

I wanted to call out her name, go towards her, hold her. But my body refused to obey.

Her cold blue eyes fixed on me, made me feel hopeless. And just like that, she turned around and started walking away. Leaving me again. Nothing had changed. I'm big now. Weak little Powder is dead. I strangled her with my own hands!

So why can't I move? Why can't I stop her from leaving? What's wrong with me?! No matter how much I struggle she just keeps getting further away and I can't do shit!

Because you're a jinx, you hear me?! Mylo was right!

Is that why you left? Because I'm a...

Everything stopped when I heard an annoying beeping sound. I groaned while trying to open my eyes. Felt like they were sealed with super glue. I aggressively patted the hard surface around me with my eyes still shut, looking for the damn source of the sound. Once I couldn't find anything, I forced myself to open my eyes and look around.

Great, I had fallen asleep at my desk again. I realised the beeping was quite distant, of course, I had thrown my phone somewhere. But damn, the constant beeping was getting on my nerves. Why didn't I change the sound of the alarm?! "WHERE THE HELL DID I KEEP IT!" I yelled while rummaging through my things, making the room even messier. "Finally..." I muttered when I found it under the bunch of blankets on my bed.

I checked the time, it was 6:03 in the morning. "Ugh, school" I walked across my oversized bedroom, dimly lit by blue LED lights and neon green stickers. I opened the black wooden door leading to my bathroom and turned on the lights. I stood still for a second observing the skincare products and makeup I previously used and forgot at random places. Mostly on the floor in front of the mirror that covered one of the blue walls.

I stepped over a few bottles and tubes and went to take my morning piss. "7:30 is way too early for anything to start... Let's be late!" I announced with a goofy smile. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and did my usual skincare. Of course, without making any effort to clean up the mess I made (Tbh, I made it worse). I walked out of my bathroom and made my way to my closet. After a while of looking for something extra, I settled for the usual.

"Black. Long sleeve. See-through top!" I said while dramatically jerking the shirt from my closet. I paused for a minute. "The hell is up with this silence!?" I took out my phone and connected it to my loudspeakers. I shuffled my playlist and grinned when Kill V Maim by Grimes started playing. I returned to my closet to take out the rest of my clothes.

"Black bra top! Where are you? Here I am, Jinx! Let me help you find long pink pants." I acted. After wearing those, I found myself rummaging through my things again looking for Blingy.

"Hey, I don't behave! I don't behave, no! Hey, I don't behave" I sang along. "Blingy!!!" I yelled while raising my thick leather belt. It was decorated with encrusted multicolour crystals, hence the name Blingy. After wearing my boots, I was all set! Except, no.

I had to return to my bathroom to put on a lil eyeshadow and purple gloss. My two long braids were a mess but I was too lazy to redo them. Biggest irk from long hair, takes too long to deal with. So I skipped it.

I grabbed my navy blue bag pack and shoved in whatever I needed as Dirty Little Animals played. I disconnected my phone from the speakers before connecting it to my headphones. Then I was out of my room. I walked down the hallways of the mansion making my way to the kitchen. But before, I stopped at Silco's office.