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20. I don't buy red plastic cups

20. I don't buy red plastic cups

The party.

My, my. Where do I even begin with the party. I have so many issues with Wattpad cliché parties that I don't even know how to organize them into coherent thoughts. I think I'll just make a list. Yes, that's what I'll do.

So, here it is:

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH WATTPAD CLICHÉ PARTIES

(Okay but before I begin, can I just re-emphasize the fact that I don't have something against every single party written in books-just horrid ones that are not only cliché but poorly written and unimaginative. Cool? Cool.)

1. Why is there a freaking party in every single story? Why? Because to me most of them just feel like that go-to event for when the author is out of ideas and is too lazy to come up with something new. I know you need an excuse for

- the main character to bump into that ex-boyfriend/girlfriend and start a dramatic showdown, or

- the main girl to get (almost) harassed by some drunk pervert so her knight-in-shining-armour can come save her, or

- the main girl and guy to play Spin The Bottle or 11 Minutes in Heaven or whatever so they finally kiss (seriously, would you want your first kiss to happen that way anyways?),

...BUT...you know, you could always do that some different way. Like, I don't know, not at a party.

2. Having two parties in one book-or three, or four, or (oh gosh) five-WHY?! Hasn't that dramatic ex-boyfriend/girlfriend showdown already happened? Didn't the knight-in-shining-armour already get to save the girl during the first party?

And do these people not have lives or something? Or is it normal for people to throw parties every week? (I mean, I wouldn't know, so please enlighten me.) Correct me if I'm wrong, but most of the characters are in high school or college, right? So, like, don't they have homework or assignments?

P.S. There are many other ways by which teenagers socialize. Such as movies. Going swimming. Having bubble tea together. Yeah, everyone loves bubble tea!

3. Those red plastic cups.

Um.

Personally, my family does not buy red plastic cups. We get those nice clear ones, yknow? I mean, is it just me, or can I safely question why every single party host to have ever existed in Wattpad books buys red plastic cups?!

4. "By the time we got there, the party was already in full swing."

WHY? Why is the party always already in full swing? Why do your main characters never show up early for once?

5. "The house could easily fit over a hundred people."

So...where do all these people park their cars when they get there? Like, just wondering. Does this mansion come with an underground parking lot too? If so, you should probably mention that. Just in case, you know, your main character didn't know.

No, but seriously. Maybe not everybody drives their own car to parties or something. I don't know, just a theory.

6. "Come on, live a little!"

Excuse me? Are you implying that I have no life unless I go to this party of yours? Who are you to talk anyways, annoying, cocky, male specimen?

7. The guy telling the girl to drink some alcohol-NO. NOT OKAY. You know what this is? This is HARASSMENT. Why the freaking bull manure does the girl not realize this? Why can't the girl just stand up for herself and be like, "I can make my own freaking decisions for myself, thank you very much"?

8. And of course, the girl gets drunk somehow, even though she's supposedly "never tried alcohol before".

9. If the music really can be "heard from a block away", then what the heck are the neighbours doing? They're either really deaf or really, really forgiving. "Oh yeah, a couple hundred crazy teenagers throwing a gigantic party probably involving a ton of illegal substances and dubstep loud enough to pierce my eardrums-no problemo, children. Have fun!"

10. "My best friend, of course, ditched me the moment we stepped inside."

Yeah, nice best friend you got there. Oh, hey look, how convenient! Perfect time for aforementioned drunk pervert to harass you and let knight-in-shining-armour come to the rescue!

11. Just for the record...not every party ends up with a drunk pervert harassing someone, and even if it did, their knight-in-shining-armour is not always going to just somehow be in the right place at the very last second to save them.

12. You know when it's like, "Oh I just invited a few friends, but news must've spread quickly because suddenly the whole school was here"? Yeah, what's wrong with you people? YOU WEREN'T INVITED! Don't show up at the party that you weren't even invited to! Where are you manners?

13. Who the heck would invite their whole school to their party, anyways? Even if your house were big enough and had an underground parking lot, do you even know half the people who would show up? And do you enjoy cleaning giant mansions and their respective underground parking lots the next day?

14. They always make the "cleaning up" part sound so simple. Oh, if only that were true. *smh* Just imagine trying to work a vacuum with a hangover.

...

Okay, that's it for now. I'm tired. I might think of a bajillion more things to add to that list later. See ya guys.