I spy with my evil eye...

Darkness Consume Me

It takes over me, fills my whole body, floods through my veins. Takes over my every breath, like a hand around my throat, squeezing and releasing. It consumes me. I call it, The Darkness. For years I fought it, clung on to the light. I was too afraid of what might happen if I gave in. Or was I too afraid of how much I'd enjoy it?

Now I don't fight, I feel The Darkness creeping in and let go. I welcome The Darkness, greet it like a friend. I allow it to enter my body. Sure it took getting used to, some adjusting, kind of like buying a new pair of shoes. At first, I would be sickened by what The Darkness would make me do. I would dread what it would next have me do. But now I am excited by it. I impatiently await for The Darkness to return. I fantasise about our past accomplishments, try to remember the feelings it gave me. Excitement, adrenaline, pleasure, power. I crave to feel it all again, like being high on substances.

Trying to maintain normal daily life has become increasingly difficult. My cravings are getting ever more intense. But I must not be impulsive. I must remain methodical, careful, calculated. This way I will always be successful, remain one step ahead. I cannot afford to be sloppy, no mistakes. So far the police are chasing smoke, if I continue this way, they'll never catch me.

Sometimes I fantasise about being caught. Headlining the news, the trial process, the attention. Maybe they'd make documentaries about me. I don't think the world is ready for me. The scientists and therapists would me as a lab rat, trying to get in my head, to see what made me this way. I'm afraid they'd be rather disappointed, you see I had a wonderful childhood, and I didn't display any of the usual signs, this is just the way I am. I'm a new breed of psycho, a next level monster. I may as well have been created by the devil himself. I am pure evil. I'm more of an entity than a person. Self acceptance and self love is highly encouraged these days, right? I'm right on track with that.

Maybe one day I will hand myself in. Once my fun is over, the police have exhausted everything, and the public gets used to the fear of me. When things need to be shaken up, or when I need the attention. But know this, the only way my identity will ever be revealed, how I will ever be "caught", is on my terms, when I decide. No one is as clever as me nor as extraordinary as me, to catch me on their own. I'm going to enjoy the game we're playing. Everyone has a part to play, even you.

I spy with my evil eye... you.