Saudade

7

Him: "Mea, where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?"

Me: "Is it cheesy if I say with you? Ha, but in all seriousness, I see myself being a teacher by then, with my own place, hopefully engaged or getting ready to have my first kid after doing some traveling. Hopefully, when I become a teacher I'll make a difference in my students lives. I do kinda mean it when I say with you. I just never connected with someone so well. Which says a lot since this is all over texting :)"

Him: "is it cheesy if I say I also see myself with you Mea? You are beautiful inside and out. I don't care what you say but you really are the sweetest girl I've ever met and I'm glad you feel the connection between us too. I'm always thinking about you and missing you when we don't talk bc of the time difference. It's crazy how much someone could possibly be thinking about someone who they've never ever met before."

Me: "Tell. Me. About. It. I find myself daydreaming of having you next to me watching tv, just sleeping with me or just talking to me.
When I'm out and about doing things I think about how much fun we'd have if we were together. I think about if you'd find this outfit I pick out at the mall cute to wear. I think about buying a dress so when we finally meet and go on a date I'll wear that."

Him: "Mea you can't use me as an excuse to shop..."

Me: "oh whatever, you caught me.
Way to ruin the moment!"

Him: "haha you're not slick, but it is adorable you think of all those things. I think about things like that too. You know, we could always watch shows and movies together. We can just time ourselves and make sure we are watching it at the same time. We can even do music sessions where we listen to music together even though we're not really together. Do you get what I mean?"

My smile gets even bigger as I'm looking at my phone. The fact he suggested this, it makes me feel like he cared and he really does want to spend time with me because he's willing to watch a show or movie with me even though he's not really with me.

This was the next best thing when it came to us spending the day together and making time for each other.

We started to watch shows and movies together all the time.

He's actually the reason I got into marvel movies/shows.

The first thing we ever watched together was Wanda Vision.

Though I really loved watching one day at a time with him.

He would watch anything with me and sometimes would even look for shows or movies he thought I would enjoy.

He cares about me and tries to show it and I love him for that. All the effort he puts in even though he's pretty much a day ahead and I'm just someone he met on the internet.

To be honest though we were no longer just people who just met on the internet. It was more than that. It feels like it's more than that. I care about him the same way I would care about anyone I catch feelings for in person. I realized there was no difference besides the fact I never felt this connected with someone before.

I felt connected to him.