Thasmin One Shots

Voices

What does it mean when ones brain finally goes silent? Are they dead? Are they dying? Has their brain processes fully stopped?
What does it mean when it stops and starts? It stops, but only for a few seconds. The duration length is different, depending on exterior factors it seems.
Does that mean there's something wrong? Are there flesh eating amoeba eating their brain? Are their brain cells okay? Has their sense of time been utterly disrupted and are in a constant state of jetlag, but not jetlag?
Well the last one could be true. Time travel, time and space travel, it can do all sorts. And messing with time, your body clock basically adapts and becomes none existent. You sleep when there's no adventure. Or when you're tired.

But the Doctor, its neither. She only sleeps when she has to. When her brain goes quiet. When she can be alone and her brain goes quiet. And it's not something all that common. Fortunately, sleep doesn't seem to affect the "superior" species of the Time Lords much. So, I guess that's problem solved in that area.

But its true. The Doctor's brain doesn't go quiet. Maybe once a month. For a few minutes. That was in the past.
But now it's more common. It's ever so slowly becoming that bit more common. Her loud and chaotic brain, with 17 voices, all speaking, constantly changing volume, talking about the hundreds of different scenarios and decisions to be made, and the billions of memories and people the doctor has loved.

But now its different.

There are parts of the day, any day, her brain, it goes completely silent. Not eerie silence, to clarify, comforting silence. Silence that makes you feel calm. Makes you feel like you're on a beach, looking at the stars. Or just standing on the beach, skimming stones, while watching the waves. The silence you get when you're with the people you truly love. The silence when you're with your best friends and you having the time of your life, without a care in the world, the comforting silence.

Of course, if the voices completely disappeared, the doctor would miss them. They keep her company when she's alone. When Yaz and Dan aren't with her. Yasmin Khan and Dan Lewis.

There it goes again, silence.

It can't be anything other than the calm, the happiness of her fam, her best friends.

Her brain voices, 17 of them. So many of them. 15 of them are her. Yep, her voice. All different tones and well, they can all blend together, but they're all widely different. Okay, so not exactly all her. They're not all the Thirteenth Doctor. All of them previous incarnations of her, if you will. All the same person. All of them The Doctor.

The other two, well, it's not something she shares. There are 3 main voices, the one that's hers, the one that she hears when she speaks out loud. But the other two. They're special to her. One even she wouldn't care to admit. She even has a hard time believing and accepting what, who's voices they are. They're her voices of reason, the ones who keep her calm, the ones who will forever keep her company, even if they aren't really there.

****

Yaz enters the Tardis control room, and the Doctor breaks her deep thought. They smile at each other, Yaz moving to stand next to The Doctor. They're both looking at all the buttons and levers, everything, all the small details that makes the Tardis go, that controls where they land, when they land.

"Ready to go back home?" As much as The Doctor didn't like going back to the estate because it felt like everything was ending, and she knew that one day that would be the case, it comforted her seeing Yaz happy, embracing and appreciating her family. She knew that it had to be done, she knew it was vital. Family was important. This was the responsibility the Doctor accepted when she let anyone on her ship. She needed to accept that their whole lives weren't just her, they can't be, that's not how life works.