A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, nothing at all happened because there was no life on that planet so we are actually wasting our time. I mean, just look at it. Not even a fish and chip shop. How rubbish is that?
[insert pic of bare planet surface]
Not so long ago at all (about three months I think) in a completely different galaxy that was and still is a completely different far away, perhaps even a far far away, but probably not a far far far far far far far far away, because that's just silly, a star system called Crustacea echoed to a most horrible sound indeed:
"FEED ME, OH SEA-BORN MINIONS OF MINE! FEED ME NOW! FFFFFLAAAAAGGGAAARRRRRAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHTTTHHHRRRUUUPPP!"
That sound was the sound of the sound of Kath Hoolu making a sound that is her actual words. Yes, it's true - this massive, greedy, planet-eating propostrousness (it's not a word, but it should be) - can actually speak!
And that sound rolled and flopped around the planets of Crustacea that themselves rolled and flopped around a bright orange sun, like overfed moths dancing around a light bulb. Can a planet flop? Can sound exist in a vacuum? Can a dog wrestle a gorilla? These questions are important, but only if you think they are important. Which I don't. So the planets continued to flop and the sound continued to roll. And somewhere a dog wrestled with a baboon. (It was the gorilla's day off.)
On the fifth planet away from that sun, an awful sight could be seen. Oh horror of horrors! Oh nasty of nasties! IT'S A LARGE PHOTOGRAPH OF A CUTE KITTEN IN A WELLINGTON BOOT!
[insert pic of cute kitten in boot]
Look at its cutesiness and its big-eyed huggable cuddliness! YUCK! But that had nothing on what could be seen on the forth planet...
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Super Prawn!Book 1: Super Prawn Escapes!
HumorRichard the Prawn, AKA “Super Prawn”, with his side kick Clamp the Hermit Crab, is here to save us all from a giant, evil intergalactic squid-octopus creature that, with the aid of its numerous minions, is intent on melting Earth's ice caps to drown...
