life with Javon and jaden

Entry one.

Dear journal my therapist says this is good to get stress out in.  I don't know how to feel about it. The whole reason I'm in therapy is because of my mom. It's not my fault for anything anymore it's my mom's. My therapist says its good for the soul to get the pain out I don't know anymore so I'll just write about what goes on in my everyday life I guess.

Javon finally talked to me at school. He was so full of himself. I love Jess, DJ, Jayla, Daelo, Jaden and Javon and all but ever since Javon started acting he's not been my best friend I know he used to only ever protect me now it's girls at school. He flirts with every. single. girl. I'm not kidding. Jaden hangs out with me still. I'm so glad about it because since my dad died hes the only one who treats me like the really funny Jazi that I am. Jaden makes sure to come to all my games shows and comps even if it means flying across the country trust me he would. 

I went to cheer and the girls who all want to date Wanna were so rude to me I went home and cried to Jaden thank god for Jaden. Sometimes I just want to disappear Jaden talks to me and pushes me back into life and it helps but he cant always be my rock even when i'm married and like 50 and married with 4 kids but hes still here for now and Imma use it.

                                                                     POV Jazi girl

I started walking over to the Waltons house to hang out with Jdubs not expecting for what happened to happen as soon as I got there I knocked and Javon opened the door with his phone in his hand he smirked and said softly "Hey Jaz" 

I suddenly looked into his eyes and said with a fierce look "don't fucking call me that. I hate you you know only my dad called me that! You are so fucking selfish." 

Jaden walked down the steps when Javon was talking before I exploded on him Jaden walked over and slapped the back of Javons head "what the fuck is wrong with you Javon" he said as he grabbed me in and gave me a hug before I  started crying as Javon walked up the stairs looking back and regretting what he said

After a few hours me and Jaden got out of bed after we watched a movie and I fell asleep in his arms because he lets me sleep in his arms so I dont cry in my sleep because he knows about my nightmares with my dad in the crash that left him brain dead.

Javon looked at me with sorrow and Jaden walked into the kitchen as Javon walks over to me and asks to go talk in private and I nod so he knows I'll listen to him he grabs my hand and leads me up to his room I sit on his bed as he starts apologizing something I forgot he could do.  I felt bad for telling him I hate him over one word " Javon I'm so so so sorry I said I hate you I really do promise I don't." I say softly after he says what he had to say 

I smile and walk down waving bye to Jaden because its almost dinner time at my house so I start walking home and put my headphones and play music as 1 step forward and 3 steps back starts playing I smile and walk home because I feel good about mine and Javons conversation.