Savior & Secret

Read at your own risk

story warning : this story may have suicidal attempt, depression, anxiety, self blaming, sensitive topics

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Just two people on the rooftop. One on the edge, ready to jump. While the other one is on the door- kakapasok lang..

"Tatalon ka?" the latter asked.

"Oo, paki mo?" the girl growled at him.

"Sama ako!" he said with so much happiness in his eyes. It's like, he really wants to end his life right now.

"Alam mo boy, kung gusto mo rin wag ka dito. Nang agaw pa ng pwesto, ampucha."

The boy started walking towards her, with a grin on his face and asked, "bakit sayo ba to?"

"Hindi pero.. PUCHA, wag ka sabi lumapit." pero huli na ang lahat, nandoon na sya sa pwesto. And ready to jump.

"Bago tayo tumalon, ano muna pangalan mo?"

"Sino may sabing gusto kong tumalon ng may kasama?" she said with her knitted forehead.

"Ako. Haha, I'm Savior. Ikaw?"

"Wow, ikaw na ba tagapagligtas ko?" she said with a tone of sarcasm.

"Baka ako na nga" he jokingly said.

"Secret."

"Ha? Anong secret? May secret kang sasabihin? Grabe mamatay na lang ako, magbabaon pa ako ng sikreto." he said while laughing.

"Bobo, Secret pangalan ko."

"Ha?! Ang weird naman, bat Secret? Tho, it suits you. Slight."

"Ahm, kasi isa akong sekreto?" Secret said while laughing without humor.

"What do you mean?"

"Haha, talaga bang dito ko sasabihin sayo?"

They are really really near the edge. One wrong move and you're dead. But for them? They can't find themselves being scared. Parang wala na lang yon sa lahat ng napagdaanan nila.

"Ayaw mo non, mapresko?"

"Kahit di naman tayo dito, mahangin pa rin kasi nandyan ka."

"Ha ha, galing mo magjoke. Game na, kwento ka na Secret."

"Fine. Yung nanay ko ay nabuntis ng wala kong kwentang tatay." sasabat na sana si Savior pero mas nauna ang babae. "Hep hep, bago ka sumabat, may asawa na yung tatay ko bago pa nya nabuntis ang nanay ko. In short, anak ako sa labas. Kaya siguro pangalan ko secret, kasi sikreto lang dapat talaga ako." she said while laughing but her tears is slowly pouring down in her face.

"Kailan mo nalaman yan? Alam ba ng tatay mo na may bunga yung kahayupan niya?"

"Kahapon. Haha, hindi. Ay mali, hulaan mo kailan nya nalaman?" sasagot na dapat si Savior pero pinutol siya nito. "Kahapon lang rin. Alam mo bakit? Syempre hindi, haha. Nalaman nya lang nung nagkasalubong kami tapos nahulog ko yung picture nya na hawak ko. Bigay yun ng nanay ko para daw di ako mangulila. P-pero sana nga di ko na lang talaga sya nakilala o di kaya nagsinungaling na lang sakin yung nanay ko."

"What did he tell you?" alam ni savior sa sarili nya na hindi ito dadating sa punto na ito kung walang sinabi yung tatay nya.

"Tinanong nya ano daw pangalan ko, tapos sino daw nanay ko. Sinabi ko yung totoo. Tapos, k-kumain kami sa isang cafe, dun kami nag usap. Akala ko nga tanggap nya ako." Pinahid ng isang kamay nya ang kanyang mga luha while the other one is holding tightly on the railings. "Pero, sabi niya di daw niya aakalain na bubunga yung kalandian nanay ko." Alam nya sa sarili na para syang batang nagsusumbong sa kanyang mga magulang habang nagkwekwento kay Savior, na totally stranger.

"And then he said that i should be just a secret katulad ng pangalan ko na dapat walang nakakaalam skain. K-kasi bunga lang ako ng kababuyan ng nanay ko. I'm a disgrace. A secret that n-no one will need to know. A secret that need to be burden." kahit nahihirapan na, pinilit pa rin ni secret na magpatuloy. "Hindi rin daw nya ko susustentuhan, okay lang naman sakin pero hindi man lang sya nag effort. A-anak rin naman nya a-ako."

"Shh, ang tarantado nya. Wala syang bayag, di ka nya deserve maging ama mo. Wag ka na umiyak." pag aalo ng binata.

"Pero siguro, kasalanan ko noh? Kung hindi lang ako pinanganak, kung di ko lang sya nadaanan. Kaya heto, I'm here kasama mo para mabawasan naman pagkakamali ng tatay ko." she giggled because of the nonsense spitting out on her mouth. "Eh ikaw, bat ka nandito?"

"Boredom.." he grinned.

"Fuck you, di nga?" sumisinghot singhot na sabi ni Secret.

"Kung sasabihin ko ba na kaya nandito ako kasi ako talaga ang magliligtas sayo?"

"Ulol, sorry ka pero di mo ko mauuto." she said while making faces.

"Just kidding, i'm here kasi gusto ko na rin sumama sayo. I'm really really a bad kid."

"Bakit? Ano ba mga ginawa mo?" her forehead creased, nagtataka.

"I killed so many people. Sa sobrang dami, di ko aakalain na kaya ko pala talaga yun gawin." Savior said while looking at the sky.

"W-what? Serial killer ka?"

"Dati. Kaya ikaw kahit anong problema mo alam kong malalampasan mo. Hindi naman tayo binigyan ni Lord ng problema kung di natin kaya isolve diba?" he said while looking at her. "And you know, hindi gantong solusyon ang maglulutas sa mga problema. Open up to others para gumaan yung loob mo. Ganyan yung naramdaman mo nung nag open up ka sakin, right? If you have no one, please always look up. Kasi lagi siyang nandyan."

Face to face, realization dawned on her. He was right. This is not a solution.

Kung kanina wala siyang takot habang natingin sa baba. Ngayon ay nanginginig na. She is questioning herself, 'Why will I waste my life like this?' Kaya dahan dahan siyang umalis don at nanginginig na humagulgol. She is saying sorry to Him for being reckless.

"I'm s-sorry." Lord..

"Are you fine now?" Pinantayan ni Savior ang lumuluhang dalaga. "Don't worry, pinapatawad ka na niya."

Shocked was evident in Secret's face. Why would he know, na pinapatawad na ang babae?

"S-sino ka ba talaga?"

"Guardian angel mo? Joke, just a random passerby." bumuntong hininga si Savior. "Time's up. I think this is the goodbye for us. I hope you will face your problems now. And I hope you will be happy soon." he said while hugging her.

"Live well.. Live happy, Secret. You deserved it."

I hope to see you soon. And I hope you are happy when that time comes.

***

A/N :  Hi, thank you so much for reading this. Actually, I make this story because of my one friend. but she's okay now. Kaya if ever you feel this way or you have this ideas running on your heads, always remember na you have someone okay? You can also talk your problems to me just priv dm me here or sa message board. You can rant or open up. But if this is serious, pls call this hotlines for you to have some professional advices :

National Center for Mental Health Crisis Hotline0966-351-4518

Hopeline PH's 24/7 hotlines:

 0917-558-4673 (Globe)

 0918-873-4673 (Smart)

 02-88044673 (PLDT)

 2919 (toll-free for Globe and TM)