Once Lost Now Found

Now found...

It's my best friend 16th birthday and I wanted to surprise her, so I made a Birthday Letter for her and I waited 'till twelve o clock. Me and my best friend chatted talking about her birthday and all the drama that happened to us.

I told her it was her birthday tomorrow and she said was, "it was no big deal for me, it'll be just like a normal day".

Why? Don't you want to enjoy your birthday? I ask.

Not at all, I don't want to like throw a party because at the end I'll be the won who'll clean up all the mess. She replied.

Yeah, you're right but I wanted to make you happy, I'm sorry if I wasn't there to make you feel special tomorrow, I'll promise I will when I got back there. I replied.

Thanks, but you don't have to, I appreciate all of the things you've done to me. She replied.

No worries, it's just me your one and only best friend. I said.

Haha. She replied.

And I replied with a laughing emoji.

I have something to give to you at exact twelve 'o clock. I said

What is it? She replied curiously.

I will gave you a letter just to make you happy, it'll be a digitalize letter 'cause you know technology makes everything easier. I said.

Thank you in advance, I really appreciate it. She replied.

I started to make my letter to her, I need to finish doing it before twelve 'o clock.

I waited for hours and it's already twelve 'o clock, it's January 11, 2022. I'm already done  making my letter for her and it's time to send it to her.

I sent my letter to her via messenger and she already seen it.

Dear: *r**s*

I just wanted to great you a happy birthday today and I wanted you to know that I am really greatful for having you as my best friend and I wanted to say that you have to enjoy your birthday because it's your special day, despite all the drama and the things that happened to us we will stand straight together and I commend you for that, thanks for everything, you're the best, happy birthday and more birtdays to come, god blessed you and have a wonderful day.

From your loving best friend Pete.

Thank tou so mucch Pete, I really appreciated everything, thanks for being my best friend and for helping me in everything. She replied with joy.

You're always welcome. I said.

She replied a smiling emoji.

I also made a handmade bracelet for you, I will give it to you when I got back there okay. I said.

Thank you. She replied

I'm sleepy now and I'm about to sleep, goodnight, goodluck, keep safe, stay safe and have a nice dreams. I said cutting out our conversation.

You too, bye have a nice dreams too. She replied back.

I wanted to sleep so I slept.

---In the Morning---

It's already afternoon, it was past 10:00 am and was Tuesday. I forgot that we have a class meeting today. So I opened my phone and I saw her messages but I ignored it because I wanna see the messages of my teachers and classmates on our group chat.

I'm already late and I was so lazy to attend the class so I read my best friend messages to me.

Sevy, wanna know what is the best birthday gift for me now. She said.

She aded...

Hmm Pete, I know this will make you confuse but it's just that I want peace of mind, can we act like we don't know each other? I know you can breath and live without me, let's go back to the days that we don't know each others existence, stop thingking and caring about me, I'll be alright, just take care of yourself and I can handle myself btw about to the bday gift that you mentioned to me, I'm not going to accept it, just keep it or do what ever you want, thanks for everything you've done to me.

I was speechless, I don't know what to do or say to her. It hurts me and it made me kinda hate her, she's pushing me away from her life after I let her in my life, after I read that message I felt like I was about to explode, it was a mixed emotions, I felt mad, I felt angry, upset, sad, and confused , I don't know. What did I ever do to her, I thought we were okay, we just have fun last two weeks ago, my heart was glass and she dropped it.

I don't wanted to reply, because I don't wanna see myself chasing someone again, but I just ate my pride, I stilk replied and apologized to her. But the message isn't sending, she can't read and see my message, I think she blocked me or something, I don't know what she did.

Days past by and I'm still thingking about it, I waited for her to reply and to see my message but kt doesn't happen, everyday I woke up in that first week, I always looked at our conversation and see if she replied or seen it, I didn't feel anything at first, I don't want myself to be lonely so I played and played online mobile games to easy my loneliness and to find some new friends because she's the only real friend I had. In that first week I didn't think about what had happened, I just wanted to act like nothing happened and there's no problem.

But my loneliness won, I finally decided to delete our conversation and to unfriend her on all if my social media account, I hated her, how could she do that, she always hurts me and she always makes me sad, depressed and confused. I don't wanna see her anymore, I hate her, she always done that and I always apologize and chase her to beg for her to stay, but this time it wouldn't be the same again, I won't gonna beg for her so stay and to not leave me, she can go away if she wanted, I don't want to have a friend anymore. All I wanted us myself and nothing else. She already made her decision and I wouldn't be that same Pete that she knows.

I listen to some of Taylor Swift's sad songs and I cried while listening to them, it hurts so bad, the lyrics and the rhythm made me even more sadder, there's no one there for me to open up to, or even to talk to, so I just deal with it al alone. How could she, after all the things I showed to her that's what she done to me. I don't know how someone could be, your best friend and your most trusted person in your life and they could go and leave you. People haven't been so kind to me and I just wanted to be alone now, I don't need anyone in my life, they just leave, hurt me and replace me. How could they be so unkind, they're all the same.

I cried, and cried and cried and cried, no one has ever seen me cry nor hear but my soul knows everything about me, about how I suffered in loneliness and how I cried about my friend and family done to me. It's always myself and I'll be always Be myself who'll be the one that will stay.

Months past I'm starting to be myself again, I'm starting to find myself again, I was lost after all the drama that happened in my life. I quit playing games and dealing with friends, 'cause right now I'm better of being alone, being with myself and being myself. I don't need people in my life. I'm starting to heal and all the wounds that I had starting to heal to, I'm slowly healing from all the pain that my friends gave me.

I just realized how nice being alone, I can make myself happy without the help if anybody, I learned everything from my past mistakes and 'till now.

More months past by and I started to make and continued all of the things I'm doing before, like making my own novels, songs, poems, prose and stories, I'm starting to find myself again and I'm doing better than I ever was, I just realized that having no friends but loving and finding yourself is better than having a so many friends. I finally found myself, I became myself again and I even became the best version of myself, I started to love, accept and embrace myself even more, It's just wonderful.

I couldn't be better now. Thanks to all of my friends who made me find myself because I learned from the pain, because of them I made and did everything all by myself, I made everything seems possible to me and now I just love me for being me.

I lost her but I found myself and somehow that was the greatest feeling in the world.