The New Witch book 2

Chapter 1

Rachael's PoV
it had been 3 months since I had spoke to Jasper. he made avoiding him easer this time around.He didn't even look at me. he had transferred history classes.Every time we passed each other in the school corridors he'd put his head down or looked elsewhere.It hurt but This was for the best. I wasn't good for him.being involved with him got me deeper into the supernatural. which was a place i was trying to avoid.The encounter with Victoria at the prom scared me straight.she said it herself i was practically asking for a early death. i didn't want to die I didn't want to do that to my father.
I know he wouldn't survive another loss.so faking normal and denying that part of me is the safest option. it's the only way to keep us both safe. so that's what i've been doing everything has been going perfect.well almost everything.

I was sat in the coffee shop. The same cafe i told Jasper i was a witch. it had became a place of comfort. the smell of coffee beans,calming light blue walls and plants scattered all around, the unusual art in an attempt to be edgy often felt safe.
I loved coming here alone and daydream. dreaming things where different. That the empty chair across from me was Jasper wearing his heartwarming half smile that highlights his perfect dimples.which often made me blush.I liked to imagined that he really did feel the same as I.
That he wasn't complicated that when he attempted to kiss me it was genuinely and not him looking for a emotional crutch.I wish he actually convincing me it was real.
I always pictured him holding my had and telling me about some history facts or it's ridiculous that i'm drinking iced lattes in the cold wether.something i would playfully roll my eyes.his 'know it all' attitude was something i didn't realise till now i loved.Or id imagine something more simple like him saying those three little words. 'I love you'.I liked to imagine that it would brighten his face as he let the world escape his lips. but that's all it was a daydream real life often isn't as kind.
A chilling breeze broke my trance. I then took another look at my surroundings and noticed something off. the cafe was empty and there was a strange energy in the air. I quickly got up and walked to the counter. "excuse me" I said approaching the barista. "is there something going on.there's usually has more people here" I asked as i got closer i then noticed the woman fully. it was a gray boney woman with long black hair and cold white eyes. the woman was wearing a long white robe. She was soaking wet.all i could do is stair at the woman in fear. My senses finally came back to me i turned around to run but the woman appeared in front of me. she's grabbed my face hurting me with her crushing strength. I couldn't move it was like my entire body was frozen.
I didn't know if it was the fear or something she was doing.
she then brought her face uncomfortably close to mine.
"p-please " she stuttered out. Just as i was about to scream she let go.my lungs began to fill and i began to choke up black liquid.when i stopped she held my face again and kissed my cheek.
I suddenly wake up catching my breath trying to figure out what's reality. "bad dream?" my dad asked from the other side of the car.I said nothing still taking in my surroundings. "are you ok"I nodded in response not wanting to worry him I knew it was more then a dream.i was having them once a week ever since i heard her cold voice in phoenix. I knew it meant something But I was ignoring it and convinced myself what ever it was it would go away. "so was the doctor's ok" My father asked. "of course" i mumbled lightly. today i had a session with doctor Colebourn. She was my new Therapist. for most trans people this was normal to see a therapist associated with gender identity clinics.
it can help but it can also be daunting.she is what determines whether i am or am not mentally stable enough to have Sex reassignment surgery where i turn 18.
My dad always called it the doctors instead of therapy to make it sound less serious.to make it sound like it was a simple check up.but calling it that just made it feel like i was sick that me being trans was some kind of illness that needed fixing.
The session was same old same old. the same questions i've been asked. the same questions every doctor asks.i know it's important but it feel like they are just asking in case i change my mind or i'm lying I always hated it.
They aways asked me to try and explain what my relationship with my body was like.but how do i put that into words without sounding dramatic.All i can think of is how i hate everything.how when i look at myself naked all i see is something wrong. wrong body parts on the wrong body. the fact that something as simple as washing those body parts make me want to cry. It all seems to much when i say it out loud.
I fear people will think that i'm craving attention. plus i could never form the words not about that stuff it always cut to deep.
so instead i just push down the dysphoria the best i can.I only give them a crumb of what i'm feeling.I often fake how i feel about myself by dress it up in beautiful clothes and my hair and makeup perfect. but this time i needed a minute to fix my emotions this session was hard.it was a new Doctor i'm supposed to be trusting with my future with. but the stress of everything in my life made it harder to fake stability.
my dad asked if i would like to skip the rest of school and do something fun. i couldn't though it was bella's birthday and honestly hating my body is a everyday thing and i could use something to distract me.
my dad then pulled into the parking lot. "ok so i guess i'll see you after work" my dad said breaking the silence. "unless you need me to get someone to cover for me" he started. "no dad it's fine.you can go to work i'm sure i can find something to do" I said in a dry laugh. my relationship with my dad has gotten some what better he's been spending more time with me. to a point i feel like i need space.so him going to work is perfect. i said my goodbyes and picked up my small pink bag containing Bella's birthday gift. a book i had gotten filled with old poems i knew she'd love.