Covenant in the Wilderness

Chapter 48: Once Lost

2014, Roseville Heights, San Jose City

Huminto ang XLT at si Yandiel ang unang nahagip ng aking mga mata. Nakaupong tahimik roon sa sementadong bench ng waiting shed at nakayuko. He lifted his head once he sensed the vehicle and he quickly stood up as he saw me.

Yandiel...

Pagkababang pagkababa ko sa XLT ay mabilis kong hinakbang ang distansya namin at niyakap siya nang mahigpit. Mas hinigpitan ko ito kahit nakatingkayad ako. I patted his shoulder in the midst of my tight hug. I know this was tough for him.

He never said anything and remained quiet. Patuloy ang marahan kong pag-pat sa kanyang likod sa kasagsagan ng pagbigat ng aking pakiramdam na patuloy kong pinipigilan. I cried so much and I don't want to show more in front of him and them. I know it's tough for the three of them and I could be the only one to bring them comfort.

Aiden was supposed to be late to attend the church and sing praise with us.

Naramdaman ko ang unti-unting pagkawasak ng aking puso, lalo na noong maramdaman kong basa na ang aking balikat kung saan nakahilig si Yandiel. He's crying, without saying any word, without making any movement.

He doesn't need to be strong everytime. His tears made me relieved that he's not keeping everything all by himself. He has to cry, mourn even just with me. He doesn't need to be strong everyday.

We chose to stay here for a while, sitting on the bench in front of the street's gate. The weather doesn't look good, it looks like it'll rain anytime soon. He is leaning on my shoulder and I was caressing his back until he calmed down. Up until now, he's still crying.

"Ang bata pa ni Aiden..."

Napalunok ako at pilit na huminga nang malalim para magsalita. "No one could know. If you're sixteen and you'll die at eighteen, you're old then. If you're thirty and you'll reach the age of sixty, then you're quite young."

Hindi siya nakasagot. Muli akong humugot ng malalim na hininga.

"Whenever we feel sad about Aiden, always remember that he's not sad about where he is."

"Where is he?" His voice became colder.

"He's much happier with the One on his side now. Once, he is living in a wilderness, but now he's in paradise," I showed a faint smile at caressed his hair. "Malungkot tuwing lilipas ang araw o linggo na hindi natin nakikita sila Ravi at Aiden. Paano pa kaya ngayon na lilipas ang bawat araw... na walang Aiden?"

Aiden was the one who brought encouragement to me whenever I felt like a failure. He strengthens my faith, his mouth speaks how great Christ is. All these days, I witnessed how a servant of God proves how he loves God the most.

"We had to go inside and help there. Walang lakas ang mga magulang ni Aiden pero pinipilit nilang umasikaso, kailangan natin silang tulungan, Yandiel."

Our pastor was still preaching and the all the people were silent, with their heads down and hearts in burden. Hinayaan naming umupo muna ang mga magulang ni Aiden para kami naman ang umasikaso sa mga tao. Aiden's classmates are sitting on one area together, they looked all down.

Doon ko na-realize ang malaking kawalan sa pagkamatay ni Aiden, hindi lang sa amin kundi sa marami pang mga tao. I know him, he could be a source of power and energy to more people out there. We are the living proof, whenever we're with him, we never had any room for silence and despair.

Thinking about going to school, eating together without him on our table, it was a big loss.

Madaling araw at unti-unti nang nagsisi-uwian ang mga tao, pinauwi ko na rin si Pastor na pagod na rin at magmamaneho pa pauwi. We're so relieved to have him in this tough time, and Aiden's parents we're so grateful too. Ayaw nila ang lamay na may sugal at ibang pinagkakaabalahan, mas maganda ang preaching kaysa sa gano'n.