abide

chapter 15

repetitive typing, the clicking sound of a keyboard being pressed at an outstanding pace drew jihoon's attention from the knife he had been wiping with a damp tissue. its blade got stained with powder since he had used it to rip open the sacks of their brand new delivery. now he felt obliged to get rid of the transparent proofs.

his hold on the handle didn't lessen, however, the other hand discarded the old, a bit raggedy cloth. his eyes halted on the other figure sitting on the opposite side of the room.

"kim junkyu."

the called boy looked up, although very reluctantly, prolonging the motion. he must have been immersed in whatever he was doing at the right moment, and the boss pestering him was the last thing he needed. his eyes were hazy, winking wasn't his natural tick anymore. jihoon concluded that the boy had stayed up this night as well, playing games, browsing through manifold pages, sites, watching viral videos. for the first time, which was surprising even to jihoon himself, he thought that he ought to advise the other to go to the rehab center for treatment. his addiction was turning him from a human to a mere shade. nevertheless, all jihoon did was clearing his throat, and adjusting the position on his chair.

"why did you decide to join us?"

he would deceive himself if he contradicted the fact that yesterday's talk with yoshinori didn't influence him. today, as junkyu was the one in his reach, he decided to give it a shot. he wanted to ask, wanted to know the reason, but a particular reason - an actual, sincere one.

"for money boss."

and that was a lie. or at least a peek of an iceberg jihoon's conscious has been aware of for a long time. now, taking equipment in his hands, he ventured to dive all in.

"no, not this one. why did you really beg me to admit you here?"

if they were playing darts, the tip of his knife would score right at the spot. junkyu's nimble fingers which had been typing restlessly this whole time froze. the bland eyes, as if being pulled out from a slumber, winked, terror-stricken, the eyelids moisturizing the dried eyeballs.

"tell me the truth, don't hide anything. if you are embarrassed, remember about the deeds we all do here - you will never be worse than us."

they stared at each other for a few seconds of silence. junkyu's eyes, most probably habitually descended, now following the knife which had been dancing in jihoon's fingers.

"my mother is in a coma. she had a car accident seven years ago. since then she hadn't opened her eyes even once."

jihoon put the knife into his pocket, consequently causing junkyu's eyes to fall onto his face again. what arose curiosity in the leader, even more, was, that the other said all this with no visible sign of sorrow, he didn't seem overly concerned about it.

the ominous realization that junkyu must have gotten used to it, hit jihoon harder than the words. he couldn't hear his mother's voice, couldn't be held in her motherly arms, couldn't be given a smile from the lips which most probably kissed him to sleep every night when he was a child.

"the hospital fees were really pricey back then and I was only sixteen. no one wanted to hire me, no one trusted my words when I promised to be as diligent in the position as I could. only you let me in, what's more i saw a chance in a hefty sum you requested back then. so I joined. I pay the fees until this day."

"but I never saw you going to the hospital." it was the last puzzle piece that was left out in the whole story.

the typing reappeared, jihoon lost the one, so rare scope to look into junkyu's eyes, to read from them. the other was glued to the display again, yet now he resorted to it so that his boss wouldn't perceive how glossy his eyes became.

"I can't see her in such a state. it scares the child inside me that has been killed the moment she nearly died."

a buzzing of jihoon's phone broke the heavy silence which once again weighted the atmosphere. he took the device out of his pocket, the second before looking at the screen, he uttered with a voice so concerned and honest, that junkyu wasn't sure if his leader was really the one he had known and seen every day for six years.

"you can go out from here sometimes, breathe some normal air, not this moldy one. don't bother asking for permission, you have it already."

the silence which comforted junkyu's troubled soul got brutally stopped as the knife with a whishing sound speared the wall. the boy's body trembled, he looked up at jihoon, terrified of this unexpected turn of events.

the one who had been talking to him a second ago with a soothing voice was now shrieking some mumble neither to junkyu nor to himself.

"b-boss?"

his hands started rummaging around, in search of something. the shade of his skin livid, but his lips were burning red. finally, after finding one of his freshly sharpened weapons, he put them carelessly into his pocket and leaving junkyu completely tongue-tied with shock, vanished from the room.

if junkyu knew that the message jihoon received was "someone was here hyung, they took jeongwoo." his mind wouldn't be so lost, his voice wouldn't get stifled when he became a witness to how jihoon's emotions attacked him.

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