Part 1

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It was a brief afternoon, Ketoru was sitting by herself in the small class, doing some math and thinking about what had she done to deserve the circumstances. It was not very long ago that she was really happy with all her friends, sticking together, laughing and talking, cracking jokes and basically doing whatever a bunch of fifteen and sixteen year olds do. But it all changed after the argument on the trip she had had with a friend almost three months back and the incident a month back. It was a trivial matter, yet her friend took it on her ego and everyone took her side, not one taking Ketoru's back and then basically isolating her in her own class. This annoyed her as the fault was from both the sides. However, this was her life now, she thought. It had been like this from three months but unlike the past months, today was her birthday. She had finally turned sixteen. After a long time, she was finally happy about something in her life, a change from the thought of her being a shameful being of petty. She kept smiling all day and gave candies to her teachers and though she was very awkward doing so, she gave some to her ex-friends as was the tradition in private schools. No matter how much she hated these people, it was always a delight to see people happy because of her. Besides, she never held any ego of her own towards them and took the opportunity to make everyone laugh or start a conversation. The day went on though, still without any conversation but it scared her when she saw what happened later that day, she saw that the girl to whom she had been attending classes, giving a packet of white powder to a student, saying in her language that she want money and that she would never give it away free and that she would face the same thing that Ketoru did if she didn't pay. And along those lines making fun of her personality and her quite chubby of a body. The familiar feeling of sadness, guilt and fear, tremendous fear, came in and although she badly wanted to hit that girl, she resisted her own will due to fear of what might await her. When she got home, her parents greeted her and asked about her day. When she told them everything, they just advised her to never go near them again and that they would see to it that no one hurts her, as they would tell her to do every time when something like this happened. That was the day that she cried the hardest in the last three months, the feeling of past experiences and shame overcame her, the thought that it was because of her own actions that she had deserved this and the feeling of loneliness didn't leave her side, tearing her soul and making her go insane for a moment. Her depression was attacking her in a full blown session and although she feared that dark realm, she sank in it unknowingly, day by day her self confidence had shrunk, but at this point, she had none left. She had always seen herself as a burden but with those past memories, it seemed like she might be the biggest burden on the face of earth. She had feared pain and dreaded whenever it came, but at the moment, it felt like the cost of this all to be over.

When her parents were in the living room, snacking on some homemade goodies, as they would do in the evening at tea time. She took the opportunity and snuck a blade inside her pocket and locked the bathroom door, across the bedroom while passing the living room in between. She took the blade out and held it over her left hand's wrist and pressed upon it so that the only sensation she felt in her body was the amplified coldness of the blade and its sharp thrust on her arm. Before she was about to do it, she took some time to think about her surroundings, her parents, who had loved her and provided an environment that was free of any toxicity, her relatives, her dear cousin brothers and the consequences of her actions, she felt pathetic and pitiful, her puffy and bloodshot eyes filled up with yet more tears before she started to make up her mind to slice into her own flesh. She looked at her wrist, now red with the sharp and trembling thrust of the blade in her other hand over her wrist, terrified about what she was about to do, then closed her eyes and felt all the rage, shame and disgust at herself and then opened them, ready to do what she had made her mind for. She closed her eyes again and started to do the deed. Just as she started digging the blade in her with a drop of blood leaking out bringing terrible pain along, she felt a grip on her hand. With a jump, she opened her eyes and saw a man in a orange and blue garment which she couldn't identify, apparated in front of her. In the surprise, she dropped the blade which hit the floor with a clank.

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⏰ Last updated: May 09, 2022 ⏰

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