The girl

well...nvm

Ask me why my heart's inside my throat
I've never been in love, I've been alone
Feel like I've been living life asleep
Love so strong it makes me feel so weak

Are you lonely? (Are you lonely?)
Our fingers dancing when they meet
You seem so lonely (are you lonely?)
I'll be the only dream you seek
So if you're lonely, no need to show me
If you're lonely, come be lonely with me

Lonely (are you lonely?)
Passion is crashing as we speak
You seem so lonely (are you lonely?)
You're the ground my feet won't reach
So if you're lonely, darling you're glowing
If you're lonely, come be lonely with me

Underneath the pale moonlight

Dreaming of a circus life

Carousels and Ferris heights

I'll be yours if you'll be mine

'Cause I'm lonely, I'm so lonely
If you hold me, I'll be your only

Are you lonely? (Are you lonely?)
Our fingers dancing when they meet
You seem so lonely (are you lonely?)
I'll be the only dream you seek
So if you're lonely, no need to show me
If you're lonely, come be lonely with me

Are you lonely?
Passion is crashing as we speak
You seem so lonely
You're the ground my feet won't reach
So if you're lonely
Darling, you're glowing
If you're lonely, come be lonely with me

This song man is amazing. I've got it on loop. And I know I've been writing a lot more then normal but hey I don't think it's a bad thing. I feel like I need this ya know..? It helps....I think. Well maybe it does but only sometimes. Either way I'm willing to take what I can get cause I can't do this on my own.

I don't think all of these are going to be bad not all of them are going to be rants. More like just a journal of how I'm doing? I guess I wouldn't call it a a journal lol.

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I know what I said but god damn today was a fucked up day. I'm at home and it's 8:22 in the evening. My phone is at 11 percent and charging.

I have a friend named ava and we are close. She had a guy named Noah texting her about going out with him. Well she wasn't interested and he kept pushing at it so I tried to stand up for her. He said I should break up with kade and man when I say my heart fell I mean it wasn't there for a minute. The panic the flew though my body was horrible and I wanted to die.

Not only that but I have to go to school with this kid. I have classes with him.

Speaking of classes I still have work I need to do because I said I'd do it and give the answers to Connor. I feel the pressure and yet I'm sitting her on my ass writing about it all instead of doing something about it. What a lazy ass pig I've become right?

Now on the topic of Connor he said he wasn't gonna eat for a few days and man that shit scares the shit out of me because I know what that's like. The first few days or about a week and a half in are the worst days. They are gonna make you feel like complete shit. I mean sometimes I still feel like that but  everyone has the it's just mine are a little worse.

I still struggle with that.

I just push though tho.

It's what I have to do. I need to be brave and not let it seem like anything is wrong. You would think that I would be a pro at this but I will never get use to this. It's something I'll never let myself to use to.

I'm so fucking tired and I want my blade but I can't have it. They know they all know about it. I should never have told them anything. I should have left my parents in the dark. Life would have been better that way. I would probably be doing better aswell. We all know ow how that turns out though.

I guess that's it...

Much love Xx