I wake up to the beeping alarm clock. Waking up for work had always been my least favorite part of the day. Just heard the sound of my screaming alarm clock had irritated me all my life. But alas, life moves on and so should I. Even though it sucks, I get up out of bed anyways.
My life hasn't been the best one. My best friend for 9 years had committed suiside three months ago. His parents were very abuse and he hated them. I hated them too. You don't treat a 19 year old like they did. My father left us 3 years back and we haven't seen him since. He was a nice man, always treated me, my brother and mom well. Until one night, they had an unexpected fight. They had fought before, but not like this.
I can remember it like it happened last night. Dad walked into the door, screaming something I couldn't understand. I heard mom scream in fear and yelled "I'm sorry! I didn't have a choice! They would have killed us!" and then dad started throwing things across the kitchen. That's the point when I sprinted into my brothers room, only 9 at the time, and we hid in a closet the whole night and watch movies so our attention wasn't on the fight. Mom and Dad got louder and louder every minute, and soon enough our neighbors had called the cops. Dad broke down the back door, pushed mom to the side injuring her leg and my soon-to-be sister (She was pregnant) and ran out the door without any goodbye.
I was 19 then, but I'm turning 23 in a few weeks now. My brother lives with my mom in Portland, Oregon. Mom still cries about that night. My soon-to-be sister was lost that night. I live in Chicago, working for the Chicago PD as a detective. I'm married to Jane Roberts, and we have a 2 year old girl, Julia. Every time I get a call from the PD, I always think, "My daughters gonna loose her father today," but it never happens. So that's my life.
I walk downstairs to the smell of my wife making bacon and eggs for breakfast. Julia sits at the table with her binky and baby food, being as cute as always. "How was your sleep?" Jane says, smiling at me. "It was ok, How about yours?" I reply, rubbing my eyes from exhaust. "Fine," she starts. "I made bacon and eggs, you want some?"
"No not right now. I'm not feelin' so hot today."
She goes back to flipping eggs and bacon as I walk over to the shower. When I turn the shower on, it sounds like I'm in the middle of a crossfire, just waiting to be shot. I get in the shower and the water reminds me of the rain I felt when I was looking at my friends body. Laying lifeless on the cold cement. I remember scraping my legs whilst sliding down to the corpse. The sorrow I felt as I lie next to him, screaming my heart out. "You can't leave me! Just a little bit longer and the ambulance will be here!" I remember yelling into his chest.
This is the usual morning for me. Remembering all of the hard times in my life and how I felt when they happened. I HAVNT had a happy dream for 3 weeks, which is kind of scaring me. Am I scared for my whole life? Will I ever be normal again?
I turn off the water and step slowly out of the shower curtain. I close my eye and take a breathe while I let all of the memories flood out of my head.
I open my eyes again and look at my watch. 7:02. I'm late for work! I hastily dry off and get my cloths on for work. When I walk out of the room, I kiss my wife and daughter goodbye, and head of to another day on the job.
